Salma Hayek: 'I am proud to be Mexican'

Salma Hayek: 'I am proud to be Mexican' — Salma Hayek says she is proud to be Mexican and that comments suggesting otherwise were "lost in translation."

The 45-year-old actress issued a statement Thursday after German Vogue magazine quoted her as saying she "hardly had any memories of what it is to be Mexican."

FILE - In this Feb. 15, 2012 file photo, actress Salma Hayek arrives for the screening of the film, "As Luck Would Have It " (La Chispa De La Vida), at the 62 edition of International Film Festival Berlinale, in Berlin. Hayek says she is proud to be Mexican and that comments suggesting otherwise were “lost in translation.” The 45-year-old actress issued a statement Thursday, Aug. 23, 2012, after German Vogue magazine quoted her as saying she “hardly had any memories of what it is to be Mexican.” (AP Photo/Gero Breloer, File)

"I have never denied my background or my culture," Hayek says in the statement released by publicist Cari Ross. "I have taught my child to embrace her Mexican heritage, to love my first language, Spanish, to learn about Mexican history, music, folk art, food, and even the Mexican candy I grew up with. I have always been an active part of my community. I have tried my whole life to represent my Mexican roots with honor and pride. It saddens me when my words are lost in translation and taken out of context to hurt the people of Mexico, whom I love."

Hayek graces the cover of German Vogue and gives an interview about her role as the leader of a Mexican drug cartel in the Oliver Stone drama "Savages." Telephone calls seeking comment placed to the magazine late Thursday night went unanswered.

This is not the first time Hayek has made remarks about her Mexican background that have drawn attention. Last year, she quipped to a reporter in Spanish, "If it wasn't because of my high heels, I would still be in Coatzacoalcos with 10 children." ( Associated Press )

READ MORE - Salma Hayek: 'I am proud to be Mexican'

Simple Steps for a Healthy Pregnancy

Simple Steps for a Healthy Pregnancy - A positive pregnancy test will change the lives of expecting parents forever, and the journey can seem overwhelming. Pregnant women can be bombarded with advice and are given endless options for resources on maternity dos and don’ts. To help us navigate the prenatal voyage, Katie talked with Alison Bernstein, editor of TheBump.com.

The first misconception that Bernstein pointed out is the idea of “eating for two.” When women take in too many calories and gain more than the healthy 25-35 pounds, they put themselves at risk of cesarean section delivery or premature birth. Pregnant women actually only need an extra 300 calories per day, and even fewer during their first trimester. That's about the number of calories found in turkey sandwich. Instead of indulging in cravings and extra meals, expectant mothers should incorporate smart snacks like fruit with yogurt, or whole-wheat toast, to boost their caloric intake. Bernstein recommends six to seven small meals every two to three hours, which keeps blood sugar at a constant range, as the healthiest option for the woman and her baby.

It’s not all about how much you consume, but also what you consume that is important. Raw fish and alcohol are two big no no’s. Raw fish puts the body at risk of being exposed to unhealthy bacteria, and alcohol can heighten the risk of birth defects. One thing that a lot of women struggle to give up is caffeine. Women should only consume about 200 milligrams of caffeine a day, the equivalent of one 12 ounce cup of coffee. It’s important to not overlook other ways in which caffeine may sneak into your body: chocolate and tea, as well as cold and allergy medicines, often contain caffeine.

While keeping your body healthy is vital in a successful pregnancy, planning for your child’s future is just as important. According to Bernstein, the most overlooked area for expectant parents is finances. She advises that everyone make a baby budget. Make a plan for the immediate supplies like clothes, food and diapers, but also plan for the long term. Having a good health insurance and savings plan in place will help alleviate stress once that baby arrives, and will allow parents to focus on their new addition.

Despite the sea of information available to new parents, Bernstein also says to not overlook those closest to you. Reach out to other moms in your community for support, because nobody knows what you are going through like they do. But her biggest piece of advice: take a moment to enjoy your pregnancy. ( Katie's Take )

READ MORE - Simple Steps for a Healthy Pregnancy

What's in a Wife?

What's in a Wife? - In an op-ed in the Guardian this morning, Jessica Valenti, founder of the blog Feministing and author of the book Full Frontal Feminism, discusses what she believes has been the media's unfair treatment of Michelle Obama, wife of Barack. Valenti writes, "Media coverage of [Michelle] Obama has packed a nasty racism-sexism combo that is quickly becoming a national disgrace." She cites unflattering depictions of Michelle in Fox News and the National Review, and claims that some right-wing commentators (she doesn't name any specifically) have said downright racist things about the prospective first lady. She also appears to be very strung out by the now-infamous New Yorker cover of some weeks back.

Unfortunately, Valenti goes too far in her claims, mistaking lack of pundit love for Michelle for racism. Of course anyone can find examples of crazed right-wingers who say racist, offensive things about the Obamas, just as any McCainiac could look to the far left in drumming up outrageous examples of McCain hate. There has not been widespread racism toward Michelle Obama in the mainstream media. In fact, I would dare to say she's gotten away with a lot precisely because the media are afraid of being accused of racism—for instance, her rather bold assertion that this was the first time in her adult life that she was "really proud of [her] country."

In getting hung up on the race point, Valenti undermines the more important aspect of this issue, which is what constitutes the image of the American "political wife." The very term itself points to the sexism associated with the way we judge most (male) candidates' wives. There is a definite image of the political wife that these ladies are encouraged to follow, and someone like Laura Bush epitomizes this character. She's meek and well-mannered, and she has completely worthy yet completely innocuous pet causes like literacy rates. Lovely, worthy, but not exactly a firebrand. Like Teresa Heinz Kerry, who took flak in 2004 for being strong-willed and for rubbing people the wrong way, Michelle Obama defies that stereotype.

I don't particularly like Michelle Obama, because I think a lot of what she's said in this election cycle has been in poor taste (I agreed with Maureen Dowd about the butter-and-toast shtick being tiresome back in 2007). Still, if there's anything we can take away from Valenti's confused rant, it is this sense that we've been late to modernize our conception of what a candidate's wife looks like. Valenti and friends would do well to focus their energies on that important discussion as opposed to the race-card fallback. ( slate.com )

READ MORE - What's in a Wife?

Could you marry a man you didn't love? These five women did - for VERY different reasons. So how have their relationships fared since?

Could you marry a man you didn't love? These five women did - for VERY different reasons. So how have their relationships fared since?

I wanted to please my parents

Diane Pulford, 52, from Peterborough, runs her own jewellery business. She has one son, Michael, 29, and is single. She says:

My wedding day in June 1977 was gloriously warm and sunny and I remember thinking that being cooped up in a church and hotel was a massive waste.

I even said to my mother, Florence: ‘I hope you’re happy, I can think of better things to do with my time.'

Under pressure: Diane Pulford married Tom in 1977

'Carol, my older sister who’d made my wedding dress, was horrified and told me not to be so selfish and to think of all the people who’d gone to so much trouble to make the day perfect.

'I was 19 years old at the time — in hindsight, far too young to marry — and my fiancé, Tony, was 21.

'He was a lovely, polite and kind young man, but he didn’t make my heart flutter. I liked him enormously, but I didn’t love him.

'My father, Bill, was an old-fashioned, working-class man. He’d tease me about having my head in the clouds and his mantra was: ‘Love doesn’t pay the bills.’

'I met Tony when I was a filing clerk at the firm he worked for. He was well spoken, middle-class and had an engineering degree. In other words, he was the ‘man with prospects’ my mother was forever talking about.

'Mum was always on my case, telling me I’d be a fool to let him go and how I’d be set up for life if we married.

'My previous boyfriend, who I’d been crazy about, had hurt me badly by cheating on me with my best friend.

'Tony never let me down and, after months of nagging, I began to think that my parents were right and I should take him off the market.

'So, after just four months of dating, we were engaged. Nine months later we married in front of 100 people.

'On the day I felt like a fraud. Tony talked excitedly about our future plans, while I felt flat and numb.

'We moved into a lovely three-bedroom house and I busied myself with the decorating, cooking and trying to be a good wife.

'But I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. I felt lonely and unhappy and would deliberately provoke rows so I could justify storming off to stay at my parents’ house.

'After 18 months, Tony came home from work and said: ‘This isn’t working, is it?’ I moved out that night and we divorced three years later.

'I don’t blame my parents, they just wanted the best for me. I was the one who thought dependability and financial security could make up for love.

'I spent the next 20 years with Mark, the father of my son, but we never married. I’m single now and happy to stay so.'

I married a man I'd just met

Lisa Mahon, 31, is an accounts manger. She lives in Witham, Essex, with her husband Edward, 40, a sales executive, with their daughter Georgia, three, and her son Dion, five, from a previous relationship. The couple have been married for four years. She says:

'I married Edward less than a week after meeting him. My friends were shocked because they never thought of me as a reckless person.

'It all began in the spring of 2007 when I had split from Dion’s father. Feeling lonely one evening I was surfing the internet and stumbled across Edward’s blog. It included extracts of his poetry, which I found wonderfully romantic and moving.

Cyber dating: Lisa Mahon married Edward within six days of meeting him following getting to know each other over the internet

'I saw that he was in Atlanta, U.S., but I still sent him a message complimenting his writing. He replied and we struck up some email banter. We then began talking daily on the phone and realised there was some real chemistry.

'After four months, Edward asked me to fly to Atlanta to marry him. Most of my friends and family were horrified but sometimes in life you have to go with your gut instinct.

'In November 2007, I travelled to Atlanta and knew instantly that we were going to have an amazing life. I didn’t love him then — because I think that takes time — but I knew it would come.

'Six days after I arrived we married at a local register office with no guests. The rashness only made it all the more exciting.

'Everyone back home was highly suspicious, accusing Edward of being everything from a crook to a visa hunter. But the fact was that he was financially secure and desperate for me to live in the U.S., but I didn’t want to move Dion away from his grandparents.

'Five months after our wedding, Edward was able to move to the UK after securing a work visa. He got a well-paid job straight away and our daughter, Georgia, arrived in April 2009. Quite simply, he’s the best husband and father I could wish for.

'I know they say ‘marry in haste, repent at leisure’ but that won’t be the case with us.

'The people who were so judgmental have now been forced to admit that we make a fantastic couple.'

He was desperately ill and I felt sorry for him

Patricia Beaumont, 35, and husband Jason, 39, live with their two children, Joseph, 14, and Joshua, 11, in Ipswich, Suffolk. Patricia is a housewife, while Jason runs a decorating company. They have been married for 14 years. She says:

'I was six months pregnant when I walked down the aisle in the summer of 1997 in a dress that had been altered to hide my growing bump.

'At that moment, I felt only anger and resentment at being cajoled into a wedding I didn’t want and a baby I hadn’t planned for — all because of my fiance’s serious and unexpected illness.

'I was 19 when I met Jason in a nightclub. He was good looking and fun, but marriage and babies were not even on my mind.

Baby love? Patricia was 19 and pregnant when she married cancer-stricken Joseph

'We’d been dating ten months when he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma — a very rare cancer that affects the spine and back.

'He underwent radiotherapy to shrink the tumours and doctors told him the treatment could leave him infertile. Neither of us knew that I was in the early stages of pregnancy.

'The thought of a childless future nursing a sick man terrified me and, as heartless as it sounds, I told Jason I wanted to end it.

'Shortly afterwards, I began to feel unwell. When a friend suggested I take a pregnancy test, I agreed just to remove the possibility.

'Sure enough it came back positive.

'I fled to Greece to try to clear my head but Jason called me pleading for us to marry and raise our child together.

'At that stage, he was still seriously ill and I had visions of being a widowed single mother. I felt in absolute despair.

'When I returned to the UK, Jason and his mother had booked the church!

'I’d have been the cruellest woman in the world to cancel the wedding and not continue with the pregnancy when it would make Jason so happy.

'The first year of our marriage was hellish — Jason just wanted us to be a family whereas I felt that marriage and motherhood had been forced upon me.

'Unbelievably, his treatment did not render him infertile and our second son Joshua arrived three years after Joseph.

'We were approaching our fourth anniversary when Jason’s cancer returned with a vengeance. His underwent a bone marrow transplant but his prognosis was grim.

'Suddenly, the thought of losing this wonderful, caring husband and father was unbearable.

'I realised then — for the first time — how deeply I loved him.

'I stayed by his bed for six weeks telling him over and over that I loved him — trying to make up for all the times I’d never said it before.

'He pulled through and has been cancer free for the past nine years.

'Despite our shaky start, I now adore him and believe we will be together for ever.'

My family chose my husband

Anita Singh, 42, a business advisor, has been married to civil engineer Amarjit Singh, 39, for 11 years. They don’t have any children and live in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire. She says:

'Amarjit and I had only met twice before we married in April 2000. Our match was arranged for us by friends and family. I never questioned it and trusted that the people who knew us and loved us would get it right.

Slow burn: Anita and Amarjit married less than a week after meeting after being set up by their families

'Of course, we didn’t love each other at the time but I’d no doubt we could make it work.

'My parents came to Britain from India in the Sixties to run a Post Office and I was born here, along with my three younger siblings. Although my parents had a successful arranged marriage, they never forced us into one.

'I went to university and had a very British childhood and adolescence, with lots of fun and freedom — but I was always knew my parents would like me to marry an Indian man.

'By the time I reached the age of 31, and was still single, they started dropping not very subtle hints about me leaving it a bit late.

'Mum’s relatives back in India were horrified that I was still unmarried in my 30s and took it upon themselves to set me up.

'There is nothing an Indian auntie likes better than a spot of match-making.

'At the time I thought: ‘Why not?’

'I didn’t have to go through with it and men weren’t exactly falling over themselves to date me. My mum was 19 when she married my dad and their union is unbelievably deep, genuine and strong. On a holiday to India I was introduced to Amarjit. He came from a good, modern-thinking family. He was educated, polite and very handsome but, even so, after our first meeting I wasn’t blown away.

'My family kept telling me what a wonderful husband he’d make and how our zodiac charts showed the best match they had ever seen.

'So, two week’s later, we announced our engagement. My mother is never wrong about anything and I trusted her to get this right too

'After an amazing traditional wedding in India, we came back to the UK. My British friends were shocked. And I won’t deny the first three years were very testing — we were, after all, both living with strangers.

'But slowly, day by day, as I got to know Amarjit’s kindness and humour, love grew.

'Now he is not only my best friend, he is my one and only true love.'

I yearned for a baby

Andrea Pierce, 44, is an office administrator. She has one son, Tom, 11, and lives in Windsor, Berks. She says:

'Justin and I had been dating for four years when he proposed. We were walking in a beautiful field when he suddenly dropped to one knee and offered me a sapphire and diamond engagement ring.

'It should have been the most romantic moment of my life but all I could think was: ‘I wouldn’t have chosen that ring.’

Regrets: Andrea Pierce had been dating Justin for four years before he proposed

'I was approaching 30 and my biological clock was ticking loudly. All my friends had married and had kids and I was feeling left on the shelf.

'Justin was nice looking, mature and had a good, well-paid job in the property business.

'I didn’t love him but I, foolishly, thought he offered my last hope of becoming a mother.

'So I agreed to marry him and six months later, in July 1995, and in front of 70 guests, I vowed to become his wife.

'We moved into a fantastic four-bedroom detached house in the country and, aged 33, I eventually gave birth to my beautiful son, Tom.

'Even though I had yearned for a child, I did not adapt to the role of mum very easily. I struggled to cope and became very unhappy.

'Justin was a good man and provider, but the feeling of love I hoped would come never did.

'Six years after we married I went to the Henley Regatta and got chatting to a man who made my stomach lurch in a way my husband never did. I knew then I could not stay with Justin. Two weeks later, he moved out.

'Needless to say, the relationship with the man from Henley petered out. I feel guilty for the way I’ve treated Justin and regret throwing it all away for a meaningless fling — but I only have myself to blame.' ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Could you marry a man you didn't love? These five women did - for VERY different reasons. So how have their relationships fared since?

Why you’re still single — and how not to be

Why you’re still single — and how not to be - Tick. Tick. Tick. Hear that? It’s the sound of your biological romance clock counting down.

Trouble is, you’ve been so busy building your career, recovering from a divorce or reaching for the elusive brass ring, you can’t hear it. Suddenly, you’re in your late 30s or early 40s and find yourself alone — and worried you’ll stay that way.

Should you be concerned?

Divorced women are most likely to remarry by the age of 33, with remarriages dropping off after age 38, says StatsCan

If life was just about statistics, the answer is yes. Divorced women are most likely to remarry by the age of 33, with remarriages dropping off after age 38, says StatsCan. On average, second marriages also last 7.7 years.

But those are just numbers, says relationship guru, television star and author Dr. Phil McGraw. According to him, it’s not too late to find your match, if you’re willing to work at it. “To get the relationship you want, you have to be willing to take an honest, even brutal look at what’s going on and what’s going wrong,” he says in Love Smart (Simon and Schuster). “You have to be willing to change what you are doing.”

MAKE A LIST, CHECK IT TWICE

Start by getting to know yourself and deciding what you want from a relationship. Most older single women are that way, says Dr. Phil, because as funny, smart and gorgeous as you are, “you are not thinking right or playing the game well, otherwise you would have what you want. You will not succeed in the highly competitive dating game unless you are convinced that you are absolutely fabulous.”

How fabulous are you? If you don’t already know, there are a few steps to help you find out. Think about your rich personal history, and recall stories and anecdotes that you don’t mind sharing with others. Take an active role in social, work and family functions, so you’re engaged in the lives around you.

Step into your friends’ shoes. “What do they see when they look at you? Probably not the things that you complain about,” he says, “but all the things that keep them coming back for more of your company.”

Stop comparing yourself to other women, and admire yourself, instead. Once you know yourself well, work out what you want in a mate. Write an extensive list of must-have and would-like characteristics under the headings of personality, social skills, relationship style (how he relates to you), spiritual compatibility and physical characteristics. “I’m not saying that you are going to get all these things,” Dr. Phil says, “but let’s start out with a full plate.”

BUT ARE YOU DESPERATE?

“If you are freaking out because your biological clock is ticking and you must get a mate now, trust me, you aren’t much fun to date,” warns Dr. Phil.

“Men read desperation one way: You don’t have what you need, so you’re going to take it from me.” To alter that, “you need to change what you are saying to yourself.

“You need to relax, lighten up and realize that you don’t have to have an ongoing relationship in order to be OK.”

Circle all the statements you’ve said to yourself.

1. I must get married by 35 or I’ll die alone.
2. Everyone else is in a meaningful relationship but me.
3. No one asks me out for a second date, so there’s something wrong with me.
4. If he loves me, I must be OK.
5. I don’t stand up for myself because I fear losing the relationship.
6. I don’t live in the moment because I worry the relationship has no future.
7. I’ve never been successful in love, so I don’t believe it will happen.
8. I know he’ll leave me eventually, so I’ll leave first.
9. I test his love by pushing him away.
10. Relationships are too stressful.

If you’ve checked two, you’re either desperate or fearful of being hurt. If most of your statements are in the first five, you’re afraid of being alone; if they’re in the second five, you fear being hurt. Either way, you’re undermining your own success.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!

“At this point, you’ve gotten in touch with your inner bride,” says Dr. Phil. “And you’ve got a clue about why you’re still single when friends around you are pairing up like animals on the Ark. So now it’s time to go shopping for Mr Right.”

Stepping In. “It sounds like a cliché, but your Mr. Right can’t fall in love with you if you’re sitting at home alone in your PJs and fuzzy slippers,” he says. Get out and have fun at what he calls “target-rich environments” like sports stores, music festivals, church, car shows, galleries, the park, your office, coffee shops or the gym.

Picking Your Co-pilots. Going out with a few girlfriends creates safety in numbers and a comfortable conversational environment, but having an entire posse will distract you and intimidate those who might want to meet you. Keep it to one or two companions.

Making Your Approach. “The toughest part of meeting someone is getting the conversation rolling,” he says. Think of five questions you can ask someone new, so they feel your interest: “What are you reading now? Where’s your favourite place to visit? If you could have anyone, dead or alive, at a party, who would you invite?” If you just talk about yourself, it’ll bore him and make you seem desperate. But you should know your “sound bite” — a positive statement about yourself that is less than 20 words. Talk about yourself 25 per cent of the time and listen 75 per cent.

Acting the Part. Your appearance, presence and what you say speak volumes about you. But if you can meet and hold someone’s gaze, according to a Dartmouth University study, the other person is much more likely to see you as attractive and likable.

BAG ’EM AND tag ’EM

Once you’ve met Mr. Right, says Dr. Phil, check your gut feelings to make sure he’s not just Mr. Right Now. “One of the worst things that you can do is pick some guy not because you’re attracted to him, but because you are repelled by your current life.” If there’s something wrong now, he adds, “it’s only going to get worse after you fill out the paperwork on this boy and get him home.”

Not that he has to be spot-on — 80 per cent perfect will do, as long as there’s room to grow the other 20 per cent. However, if the 20 per cent includes “deal-breakers,” says Dr. Phil, “hit the eject and parachute to safety.” Deal-breakers include someone who drinks too much, is abusive, has a bad temper, is jealous, dishonest, controlling, tells you he can’t live without you after two dates, doesn’t make eye contact, isn’t there for you in a time of crisis or says he’s “technically single.”

On the other hand, if the 20 per cent is just that he’s a bad dresser or wears socks in bed, let it go. Accept there will be things he doesn’t love about you either, and that you’ll both need to negotiate. “Your goal is to create a relationship that is good for both of you, where both of you feel safe, both of you feel your needs are being met and both of you feel that the things you’ve compromised on are worth it because of what you’ll get in return,” Dr. Phil says. ( Postmedia News )

READ MORE - Why you’re still single — and how not to be

The Spy Who Said She Loved Me

The Spy Who Said She Loved Me - WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange turned himself in to British police on Tuesday after Sweden put out a warrant for his arrest. Assange stands accused of "rape, sexual molestation and unlawful coercion" during encounters with two Swedish women. But some Assange defenders are suggesting that the 39-year-old Australian is the victim of government-sponsored seduction, known as a "honey trap." Are honey traps real, or are they found only in James Bond movies?

Oh, they're real. Honey traps, also called "honey pots," have been a favorite spying tactic as long as sex and espionage have existed—in other words, forever. Perhaps the earliest honey trap on record was the betrayal of Samson by Delilah, who revealed Samson's weakness (his hair) to the Philistines in exchange for 1,100 pieces of silver, as described in the Book of Judges. The practice continued into the 20th century and became a staple of Cold War spy craft. Governments around the world set up honey traps to this day, but it's an especially common practice in Russia and China. The Central Intelligence Agency doesn't comment on whether its agents use their sexuality to obtain information, but current and former intelligence officials say it does happen occasionally.

Julian Assange

The classic honey trap is seduction to extract secrets. Perhaps the best-known trap layer was the Dutch exotic dancer Mata Hari, who was executed by firing squad in France in 1917 for allegedly passing secrets along to the Germans. Other times, spies set honey traps to draw their victims into their enemy's clutches. In 1978, undercover Sandinista operative Nora Astorga lured a Nicaraguan general into her bedroom, where assailants slit his throat. When Israeli technician Mordechai Vanunu went public with secrets about Israel's nuclear capabilities in 1986, he fled to London, only to be seduced by a woman who led him to Mossad agents in Rome. (A rabbi later determined that the Mossad's actions were, in fact, kosher.)

Honey trapping often leads to blackmail—though some of the more famous examples didn't go according to plan. In one 1957 case, the Soviets recruited an attractive man to seduce legendary (and gay) American columnist Joseph Alsop. When KGB agents tried to blackmail Alsop with compromising photos, he went to the American authorities and told them everything. London Daily Telegraph correspondent Jeremy Wolfenden got similarly ensnared in the 1960s, when the KGB photographed him having sex with another man. Wolfenden told the British embassy, and they asked him to become a double agent. The stress drove him to drink. He died at age 31. When the KGB tried to blackmail Indonesian President Achmed Sukarno with videotapes of the president having sex with Russian women disguised as flight attendants, Sukarno wasn't upset. He was pleased. He even asked for more copies of the video to show back in his country.

Women, too, have been honey-trap targets. During the Cold War, East German intelligence chief Markus Wolf sent Stasi "Romeo spies" into West Germany to seduce powerful women and extract their secrets.* In the early '80s, a CIA agent stationed in Ghana fell in love with a man who turned out to be a Ghanaian intelligence officer.

No one has perfected the honey trap quite like the Russians. One former KGB agent has said that the Soviet intelligence agency didn't ask Russian women to stand up for their country but "asked them to lay down." One of the biggest Cold War spy cases was that of Clayton Lonetree, a Marine Corps security guard entrapped by a female Soviet officer, then blackmailed into sharing documents. In 1987, he became the first Marine convicted of espionage. Russian spy craft didn't disappear with the Soviet Union. Russian political satirist Viktor Shenderovich was recently filmed cheating on his wife with a young woman named Katya, who had also seduced a half dozen other Kremlin critics. A similar trap appeared to catch an American diplomat in Moscow in 2009, but the State Department said the evidence was fabricated as part of a smear campaign.* China, too, seems to employ honey traps regularly. When former Deputy Mayor of London Ian Clement was seduced and drugged in his Beijing hotel room in 2009 only to find his BlackBerry stolen the next day, he admitted that he "fell for the oldest trick in the book." ( slate.com )

READ MORE - The Spy Who Said She Loved Me

Daytime Date Ideas

Daytime Date Ideas

Watch the Sun Rise

You’ve probably watched the sun set many, many times, but when was the last time the two of you caught the sunrise? Check the time online at SunriseSunset.com, grab a blanket and a thermos of hot cocoa, and enjoy the calmness of the morning hours together.

Street or County Fair

Whether it’s a pie bake-off on a farm or a falafel stand in the city, street and county fairs are great places to sample food and soak up the local flavor. During the holiday season, check out craft fairs too. You just might find some cool gifts.

Hiking

Even for couples living in a city, a wooded area or hiking trail is almost always within a 30-minute drive. Pack your hiking boots or a comfortable pair of sneakers, two large bottles of water and a small snack (unless you’ll be hiking all day, in which case, go all out with sandwiches). Find trails near you on Trails.com.

Bike Ride and Picnic

Bike to a scenic locale in your area – visit MapMyRide.com to find routes – and have a picnic at your destination. Spread a blanket on a flat spot, and dine on fresh fruit, chocolates, cheese slices, and other easy-to-carry-while-biking foods.

Ride in Style

Rent your dream car for the day from a service like Zipcar, which has rentals ranging from Mini Coopers to Mustang convertibles

Have a Spa Day

Book couples massages and other relaxing treatments at a local salon. Spend the day relaxing and getting pampered together.

DJ Lessons

This one’s a twofer: not only will you two learn how to spin on turntables and mix your own beats, you’ll be able to provide the entertainment at your next party.

White Water Rafting

Courses range in intensity from Class I (essentially smooth sailing with no experience required) to Class VI (picture The River Wild). Determine whether you want a leisurely drift or a white-knuckle thrill ride, then bon voyage.

Volunteer

Get your butts off the sofa and do some volunteer work together. It’s a great way to bond while doing something worthwhile. Carry that euphoric feel-good vibe home and get charitable between the sheets.

Rent a Boat

If you live near a marina, chances are you can rent a boat for a day and go for a sail. If you’re not the sailing type, go for a boat ride on a local waterway. Hint: pack a picnic! ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - Daytime Date Ideas

Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!

Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!. Do this. Don't do that. With all the pregnancy advice out there, it's hard to know what to believe -- or whom to believe. But remember, every pregnancy is different, so follow your doctor's orders above all else.

Myth 1: Eat Three Healthy Meals a Day

False! You should be eating six or seven small meals every two to three hours. "Eating frequently and from various food groups will keep your blood sugar in a constant range, which is healthy for you and your baby," says Stuart Fischbein, MD, coauthor of Fearless Pregnancy.

Myth 2: You Can Drink Alcohol

True! If you want to toast your sister at her wedding with a glass of bubbly, "go ahead," says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine and coauthor of A Woman's Guide to Sexual Health. "One glass of wine isn't going to hurt the baby," she says. But one glass here and there doesn't mean nine -- in fact, two or more alcoholic drinks daily can lead to fetal alcohol syndrome. So while it's best to cut out alcohol completely, Dr. Minkin says that an occasional small glass of wine with your pasta primavera is harmless.

Myth 3: Decaf Only

False! One small cup of coffee a day is perfectly fine. While a recent study at McGill University in Montreal did find that the caffeine in two to three cups of coffee a day increases the risk of miscarriage, it didn't consider how the coffee was brewed and the type of coffee used. Dr. Minkin points out that a French blend served black is much stronger than a weak cup of American coffee mixed with milk. It's another controversial subject for sure, but moderate caffeine intake isn't likely to harm you or your baby. The same goes for sodas with a caffeine jolt.

Myth 4: Cut out the Cheese

True! Well, you don't have to ban all cheeses. Some kinds, like cheddar and Swiss, are innocuous because they've been pasteurized. It's the soft, unpasteurized products like Brie, feta, and goat cheese that might carry food-borne illnesses. If you're lucky, the market you frequent will carry pasteurized versions -- just start looking at labels more often. And then you can still enjoy your crackers with cheese.

Myth 5: You're Eating for Two

False! Pregnancy isn't a time to pig out. You certainly have a bit more leeway when it comes to a second helping of supper, but on average, women need only about 300 extra calories a day.

Myth 6: Say So Long to Seafood

False! Chances are that if the reputable (and tasty) sushi bar you love so much hasn't made you sick pre-pregnancy, you're not at risk when with child. Yes, there's a greater risk of ingesting bad kinds of bacteria from raw foods (so you might feel more comfortable with a cooked-shrimp roll), but if you had spicy yellowfin tuna before realizing you were pregnant, no harm done. The dangerous mercury levels, you ask? Again, it's all about moderation. Enjoy tuna on rye once a week, not daily.

Myth 7: You'll Have to Suffer Through Sickness

False! Many OTC meds are safe during pregnancy, but somehow women believe they need to put up with migraines and be a slave to the runs. Not so. You should consult your ob-gyn before you take anything, but many experts give the following drugs the green light: Tylenol for headaches and fever; Tums or Mylanta for heartburn; Imodium for diarrhea; Robitussin for colds; and Sudafed or Benadryl for allergies. Many prescription drugs are also okay to continue with during pregnancy, but again, follow your doctor's orders.

Myth 8: They'll Know You're Not a Natural Blond!

False! Being pregnant doesn't have to compromise your appearance (at least not above the belly), but you do need to be smart. Dr. Fischbein says that while there's a theoretical risk associated with coloring your hair (chemicals being absorbed through the scalp), studies haven't shown anything conclusive. He recommends avoiding dye for at least the first trimester, when the baby's organs are forming.

Myth 9: Manicures Are Out

False! You don't need to forgo weekly manis just because you want to be a mommy. "You would need massive and long-term exposure to the products before there was a chance of problems," says Dr. Fischbein. You might get a little nauseous from the fumes with your newfound sensitivity to odors, but if that's the case, make your appointments for less crowded times of the day. (thenest.com )

READ MORE - Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!

In-Law Proof Your Home

In-Law Proof Your Home. Wait, is that the doorbell? It's time to hide the vices ( 71% of Nesties admit to doing it!) and steal these tips to make your abode more PG: parentally gratifying.

Whip out family photos

Replace those crazy Cancun pics of you doing apple-pie shots with family photos (son plus his beaming mom at the wedding is always a hit). Hint: Slide your family photo behind the crazy one in the frame. Should you get a surprise visit, you can quickly swap out the incriminating shot.

Bring out the blooms

Remember after your wedding, when you looked at each other and said, “What the hell are we going to do with all of these vases?” Pull them out and fill ’em with flowers.

Lower the bar

Your frat brothers might be totally impressed by your extensive, top-shelf bar, but if your in-laws see it, they’re going to spend the rest of the night researching Al-Anon groups on the Internet. Streamline your liquor selection and display just a few select bottles.

Hide the XXX stuff

Take a good look in your nightstand and goodie drawer and decide what you wouldn’t want them to see. Birth control pills, some lube, condoms and fun electronic devices scream, “Your child is having sex, dirty sex!” Stash it all in your sock drawer.

Stock the fridge

Parents always worry about whether their kid is eating right, so load your fridge with fresh fruit and veggies, and keep a variety of cookbooks in view...even if you’re really subsisting on Subway and cereal.

Show off the tchotchkes

When ol’ Betty and Bob come over, they’ll be looking around for the (tacky/cheap/inappropriate) gifts they bought you. So keep all the knickknacks you were given in a box under your bed and quickly display them right before your in-laws arrive. Once they leave, toss ‘em back in their hiding place. ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - In-Law Proof Your Home

What are your friends for?

What are your friends for? -- There are friends that you have polite chats with, and there are your best friends. They're the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.

A friend recently sent me news about some phenomenal successes he is enjoying in a new business venture. I responded enthusiastically about his amazing gifts. He e-mailed back: "You, my friend, are too much! But I must say, I love having my own cheering section!" I responded, without even thinking, "What are friends for?"

Precisely! Friendship is about being what a hero of mine described as "balcony people" instead of "basement people."

Basement people are those who live in our minds, telling us we will never amount to anything, that we are doomed to fail and that we are royal screwups.

Balcony people are those who are consistently cheering us on. "Go for it," they say to our attempts to find our voice, to live in ever widening circles, to dare, to create, to break through our lives' sound barriers.

Good friends cheer you on to "go for it" and stand by you when you're at your neediest.

While not all of us are made to be married or to live in an intentional formal community, be it a kibbutz, ashram, monastery, convent or commune, all of us are created to live in some form of friendship. Friendships are what help us be human.

Although my wife is indeed my soul friend, in this essay I am not using her as an example of friendship. The following thoughts are about something that is more universal than marriage -- having soul friends who are not one's partner or spouse.

My best friends and I get together regularly to share the deepest part of life, the part that is about Being as opposed to Doing. Sure, we speak about what we do in our jobs, our other relationships, our spiritual, sexual, athletic, medical, familial doings.

But the experiential, life-giving juice that feeds our soul and binds us together over the years and takes us to ever deeper dimensions is the conversation we have at the being level. That's the place where your soul stands naked before someone else and receives unconditional acceptance in return.

From time to time, we speak about what an exasperation-free oasis our friendship is. Both of us have had some important relationships that soured because someone got exasperated with us. Not that we didn't deserve it.

But there is something about my best friends, who just don't get exasperated with me, no matter how much I deserve it. As a result, I am not guarded with them, and when we fall back into old patterns of thinking, "If I tell him this, the friendship is over," that's where we have over the years taken the risk to tell it all. That's where the friendship is made even stronger.

My best friends are the people with whom I feel safe to talk about mad, sad and hurt feelings. Most other relationships stay at the feeling levels where everything is "fine," although we all know that's not true. But my best friends never shy away from those times when we feel the neediest -- when our feelings have been hurt, when we are so angry we could spit fire, when we are grieving and depressed, when we feel unacceptable. Over and over, those are the times that have made us feel more bonded.

The secret to all of this is that best friends are invested in being their true selves. Sure, they tolerate any posturing that comes from the false self. But the safety of the friendship is such that in their presence I can feel the superficiality of any of my ego-based claims or judgments. With that realization, I remember that I don't want to live on the surface of life, and then I simply move into the deeper waters where my true self waits to cool, refresh and renew.

For me, investing in time with my best friends is profoundly spiritual. Standing naked before another, knowing that acceptance will trump exasperation and working through tough feelings as well as surface living to move to the true self is the essence of life with God. We can't be fully alive without it. ( cnn.com )

READ MORE - What are your friends for?

It's Not a Tumor, It's a Brain Worm

It's Not a Tumor, It's a Brain Worm. Doctor Surprised to Find a Worm Living Inside a Woman's Brain. Late last summer, Rosemary Alvarez of Phoenix thought she had a brain tumor. But on the operating table her doctor discovered something even more unsightly -- a parasitic worm eating her brain.

Alvarez, 37, was first referred to the Barrow Neurological Institute at St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix with balance problems, difficulty swallowing and numbness in her left arm.

An MRI scan revealed a foreign growth at her brain stem that looked just like a brain tumor to Dr. Peter Nakaji, a neurosurgeon at the Barrow Neurological Institute.

"Ones like this that are down in the brain stem are hard to pick out," said Nakaji. "And she was deteriorating rather quickly, so she needed it out."

Yet at a key moment during the operation to remove the fingernail-sized tumor, Nakaji, instead, found a parasite living in her brain, a tapeworm called Taenia solium, to be precise.

"I was actually quite pleased," said Nakaji. "As neurosurgeons, we see a lot of bad things and have to deliver a lot of bad news."

When Alvarez awoke, she heard the good news that she was tumor-free and she would make a full recovery. But she also heard the disturbing news of how the worm got there in the first place.

Nakaji said someone, somewhere, had served her food that was tainted with the feces of a person infected with the pork tapeworm parasite.

"It wasn't that she had poor hygiene, she was just a victim," said Nakaji.

Pork Tapeworms a Small, But Growing Trend

"We've got a lot more of cases of this in the United States now," said Raymond Kuhn, professor of biology and an expert on parasites at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C. "Upwards of 20 percent of neurology offices in California have seen it."

The pork tapeworm has plagued people for thousands of years. The parasite, known as cysticercosis, lives in pork tissue, and is likely the reason why Jewish and Muslim dietary laws ban pork.

Kuhn said whether you get a tapeworm in the intestine, or a worm burrowing into your brain can depend on how you consumed the parasite.

How Humans Get Worms

Eat the parasite in tainted meat and you'll end up eating the larvae, called cysts. Kuhn said in that case, a person can only end up with a tapeworm.

(ABCNEWS.com)

"You can eat cysts all day long and it won't get into your brain," said Kuhn. Instead, the larvae go through the stomach and mature in the intestine.

"When it gets down into their small intestine, it latches on, and then it starts growing like an alien," said Kuhn.

Once there, the tapeworm starts feeding and gets to work. A single tapeworm will release 50,000 eggs a day, most of which usually end up in the toilet.

"They can see these little packets pass in their feces," said Kuhn. "And ... sometimes people eat the eggs from feces by accident."

Kuhn said it is then feces-tainted food, and not undercooked pork, that leads to worms burrowing into the brain.

Unlike the cysts, the eggs are able to pass from the stomach into the bloodstream. From there, the eggs may travel and lodge in various parts of the body -- including the muscle, the brain or under the skin -- before maturing into cysts themselves.

According to Kuhn, who has traveled to study this parasite, cysticercosis is a big problem in some parts of Latin America and Mexico where health codes are hard to enforce and people may frequently eat undercooked pork.

As people travel across the border with Mexico for vacation and work, Kuhn said so does the tapeworm. One person infected with a parasite, who also has bad hand washing habits, can infect many others with eggs.

"These eggs can live for three months in formaldehyde," said Kuhn. "You got to think, sometimes, a person is slapping lettuce on your sandwich with a few extra add-ons there."

Getitng the Worms Out

Dr. Christopher Madden, an assistant professor in the University of Texas Southwestern department of neurological surgery in Dallas, has operated on a number of these cysts himself. He said not every worm needs to be surgically removed; those whose location is not an immediate threat to the patient's health can be treated with medications that cause the worms to die.

But when the cysts are in problematic locations, as was the case for Alvarez, an operation is necessary. Fortunately, the long-term prognosis for most patients is positive.

"Most patients we see actually do very well with medicines and/or surgery to take out a large cyst," Madden said.

Alvarez is not alone in accidentally eating tainted food, but Nakaji rarely sees cases so severe that people require surgery. Nakaji said he only removed six or seven worms in neurosurgery this year.

"But lodging in the brain stem is bad luck," he said.

Nakaji said other parts of the brain have more "room" or tissue to expand around a growing cyst. However the brain stem, which is crucial to life, is only the width of a finger or two.

"She could have recovered," said Nakaji. "But if the compression lasted for long enough, she could have been left permanently disabled or dead." ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - It's Not a Tumor, It's a Brain Worm

When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective

When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective. Our Gay Wedding, My Straight Brain . I'm getting married in less than two weeks and can't think about much else.

Mostly I worry about:

A) fitting into my dress (cream-colored Indian cotton, tea-length skirt) and

B) how we're going to unload sixty Ikea champagne flutes after the wedding.

But I've also been thinking about my fiancee's brain. And my own.

ABCNEWS.com recently reported on a Swedish study indicating that the brains of gay people are more like the brains of straight people of the opposite sex than they are like straight members of the same sex. The study bolsters the conventional wisdom — popular among gays and straights alike — that homosexuality is not a choice but a physical condition.

In purely reductionist (and slightly facetious) terms, gay men have girl brains and gay women have boy brains.

No kidding. You've seen them, two women maybe, boy brains both, deeply in love. They dress like twins — identically cropped hair, polo shirts, khakis.

But what about when a straight woman's brain falls in love with a gay woman's brain? How to describe. Butch/Femme? That's very old school, almost vintage, which is why Margie and I secretly like the terms. I chose a retro theme for our wedding invites.

Margie and I will be wed in the garden behind our newly renovated (well, not quite, but more on that later) home in the Berkshire foothills in front of about 60 friends and family.

We found the little Massachusetts stone house two years ago. The stocky, tough-talking real estate agent from Boston couldn't believe her luck when she let us in. We walked across the orange shag carpet to the enormous picture windows looking out onto acres of garden, white birch and mountain laurel in a trance.

Our teenaged Bearded Collie grinned widely, lifted one leg and relieved himself against one of the wooden supports before anyone could do anything.

The rarely emotive Margie stood in front of the ski-lodge style fireplace and made an announcement. "I love it! We'll take it! I don't need to see upstairs!"

We did take it, but I still had my job in the city. It became our weekend DIY project. And my weekend escape from the chaos of a difficult work situation. And also escape from a level of commitment ambivalence that made my pulse race, feeding my impulsivity. In the country with Margie, there was no temptation.

I had affairs, though, with men. Eventually, I fled our home and, ironically, through an intense but short-lived relationship with a near-perfect guy, I realized the depth of my love for Margie.

He was attentive, adventurous, smart. I really liked him, but I couldn't love him, because I was already in love.

I'm so glad she wanted me back.

These days my mother and I are creating and revising the wedding menu by phone (she lives in South Carolina), and my dad (who lives in Cleveland) has come through with the cash for my favorite champagne and an extraordinarily difficult-to-book DJ.

Margie's 80-year-old mother, Juanita, is making the trip from the suburb of Shaker Heights, Ohio, to sew chair cushions and curtains in preparation for our overnight guests. Margie is her youngest child — her tomboyish baby. Juanita and Margie's older sister knew she was gay before Margie did.

An only child, I gave new meaning to the words eccentric and prissy. I hated wearing pants and didn't get my first pair of jeans until age 12. I cried until my mother sewed lace around the trim of my little white socks. Of all the things she worried about when it came to my future, gayness didn't make the list.

Today I work in New York, writing mostly about health and beauty. Manhattan nurtures my hypochondria, fat-phobia and free-floating angst like no city ever has.

Margie, my foil — an ectomorphic specimen of perfect physical health due to a lifelong preference for an athletic, Spartan lifestyle — is a carpenter and design snob who prefers breathing clean air. Though the odds are against us in this economy, we hope to maintain both residences.

As I type, my beloved — having just finished rebuilding the stone steps — is pouring the concrete for our custom kitchen counter tops. If it was up to me the kitchen would be 100 percent Ikea and completed last year.

But Margie is an artist. Prefab is to carpentry is what MadLibs is to writing; this is something I've had to learn.

She just phoned to ask my opinion (again) about the color she plans to mix in to the concrete. We're really down to the wire (11 days!) and it's hard to keep the tension out of my voice when I tell her not to worry, the dark stain will be fine. But I manage.

I speak softly and soothingly. When we hang up she sounds reassured.

In the early days of our relationship, we screamed at each other like siblings, but I've since learned better.

The way to handle Margie when things get tough is to pretend she is a guy and to "manage" her as such — just like the illustrated 1960s book called something like "Advice and Etiquette for Young Ladies" I once perused on the floor of my grandparent's library. The advice the editors gave was not just for dealing with boys, it was for dealing with boy brains. Who knew?

I've never had an MRI, but I'm pretty sure I have a straight girl brain (if there really is such thing).

What does that mean?

Is orientation a matter of biology for her and a matter of choice for me? I suspect that what we call "orientation" is not much more significant than any general preference. Like hair color, social class, weight or ethnicity. Sure initial drives play a role, but if we truly seek love, we may broaden our prospects if we put aside our preferences once in a while.

At any rate, I question the premise that falling in love is a matter of choice. Love chooses us, it seems.

Yet on the orientation continuum, is Margie "gayer" than I am? Not anymore. I am devoted to her, and in two weeks we will be married, and we (James, our Beardie, makes three) will be a gay little family. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective

Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys

Why Nice Guys Finish Last. New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys. Ricky Menezes, a 22-year-old from Marlborough, Mass., says he knows he will hook up with "about 20 girls" in the next month.

New research suggests that bad boys may indeed beat nice guys when it comes to getting female attention.

(Getty/ABC News)

How does he know this, you ask? Ricky knows this because he's what we call a "bad boy" -- the type of guy who knows exactly how to act, what to say and how to manipulate women into giving him what he wants.

"It all started in high school," Ricky said. "I started being the outgoing, crazy, funny kid that everyone thought was fun and wanted to hang out with."

After being validated by his peers in high school, Ricky said he has more or less mastered the art of being a bad boy, and has done so with one overriding goal in mind -- sexual conquest.

"I don't pretend to be anything I'm not," Ricky said. "I'm honest and outspoken. I say that I'm just looking to hook up. ... I'm not afraid to go for it, and I rarely get rejected.

"Oh, and I'm in a band. You have to be in a band. Girls love guys in bands," he added.

Most everyone knows -- or at least knows of -- a stereotypical "bad boy" like Ricky. The guy with such high self-esteem he could aptly be called a narcissist. The guy who wins women over with deceit, callousness and impulsive behavior. Basically, the type of guy who resembles a real-life version of Hugh Grant's character in "Bridget Jones' Diary."

The success of Ricky and so many other "bad boys" with women seems to add weight to the popular saying "good guys finish last."

And there might be more than just a grain of truth in these mantras about bad boys; new research suggests they might actually be attracting more women than their "nicer" counterparts.

The Positive Side of Negative Traits

Researchers at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces gave 200 college students personality tests to see how many of what psychologists call "dark triad traits" they possessed. These traits include callousness, impulsive behavior, extroversion, narcissism and various other anti-social traits for which "bad boys" are known.

The researchers also asked about the student's sex lives, their feelings about sexual relationships, their number of sexual partners, and what they are seeking in sexual or romantic relationships.

According to Peter Jonason, lead study investigator, although society tends to look down upon these "negative" dark triad personality traits, there seems to be quite an upside to being a bad boy.

"We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive -- that women are attracted to these bad boys and they do pretty well in terms of sheer numbers of sexual partners," Jonason explained. "They're taking quantity over quality as their sexual agenda, being serially monogamous and having multiple partners or one-night stands."

Jonason compared the type of "dark triad bad boy" that the study refers to as a modern-day James Bond figure -- a man with little empathy for others, a penchant for fast cars and even faster women, and a seeker of short-term rather than long-term goals -- especially concerning the opposite sex.

And because these characters appear in this study to be successful at achieving their short-term goals -- which, in this case, is a short-term sexual relationship -- Jonason believes such character traits have persevered in so many people because they seem to be evolutionarily successful.

"Dark triad traits are useful in pursuing our agendas at any given time," Jonason explained. "If you like someone and want to meet them and date them, people who have the dark triad traits appear to be more successful at facilitating short-term mating."

Jonason validated this point with a comparison to the popular VH1 show "The Pick-Up Artist," wherein nerdy, nice guys meet with a typical bad boy to learn how to pick up more of these dark triad traits -- and also more women.

Nice Guys Win in the End

But some experts say it might not be so simple.

Heather Rupp, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, believes that the reason women may be drawn toward the "bad boys" is more because of physiology more than psychology.

"I think it goes back to the physiological underpinnings of such an attraction," Rupp said. "For instance, testosterone is a hormone that in men is linked to more dominant personality traits -- outgoing personalities and charm and things like that. And men with higher testosterone are rated by independent observers as being more outgoing and charming than others."

Some experts, however, believe that these narcissistic males tend to embellish the self-reported tales of their own sexual conquest, leading others to believe they are more sexually successful than they really are.

"People high in dark triad traits tend to say what they think others want to hear," said Everett Worthington, professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Moreover, Worthington notes that while some of these males may be more successful at short-term sexual relationships, their overall success with long-term relationships is often compromised by their dark triad traits.

"The manipulative 'It's all about me, so tell 'em anything to get sex' behavior is likely to have more short-term sexual success," Worthington said. "A strategy of building trust and intimacy and commitment is, by nature, going to take longer. Thus, the payoffs are likely to be greater in the short term. However, long-term relationship survival is likely to be strongly disadvantaged in people with dark triad traits."

So maybe good guys don't always finish last. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys

When Big Breasts Are a Big Pain

When Big Breasts Are a Big Pain. While One Woman Seeks World's Largest Breasts, Others Seek Relief from Pain of a Big Chest. Sheyla Hershey has set a new record for something she can't and doesn't want to hide -- the largest breasts in Brazil, and perhaps the world. But is she in for more pain than she bargained for?

After eight surgeries and a gallon of silicone, Hershey's breasts round out to an astonishing 34 FFF -- and she claims she's not done.

In an interview with Fox 26 in Houston, where she traveled for the operation, the 28-year-old Brazilian actress and model said that she would like her breasts to be even bigger.

Unfortunately for Hershey, the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants -- and Dr. Malcolm Roth says this is for good reason.

"We know that the larger the implant the more likely there will be problems down the road," he says. "Maybe she'll be fortunate and not have problems, but those are very, very large breasts.

"The problems that can ensue with breast implants could be wound separation that could lead to exposure of the implant, infection, scarring, certainly pain and capsular contractions."

Roth is the director of plastic surgery at Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., and the vice president of health policy and advisory for the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Besides the serious medical risks associated with such large breast implants, he says there is an ethical problem as well.

"Part of the six years of training to become a certified plastic surgeon is to find out if the patient has realistic expectations," he says. "It certainly appears as if this woman has pushed the envelope on what is expectable. I certainly would not perform any additional surgery on her."

Although it looks as though Hershey will have to look elsewhere if she plans on upping the ante even further, it's hard to imagine anything will stand in the way of her "dream."

"I want to look better each day, every day," she told the Houston television station. "Everybody's got a dream inside, you know? And it's good when you can make your dream come true."

Big Breasts, Major Pain

Hershey's dream is now only a downward glance away. But for millions of women who have naturally large breasts, Hershey's dream is their nightmare.

Kelly, a 29-year-old from Michigan who asked that her last name not be used, says she was miserable before her breast reduction surgery last month. And she was only a 34 DD.

"Every night I was taking three extra-strength Tylenol because my back was hurting so bad, and by the middle of the night I'd be sore again," she recalls. "I wasn't sleeping because I was hurting so badly. And in the morning I had to get two children together and get myself ready for work. And I'd get to work, and by two my back hurt so badly I could barely sit at my desk and work."

That kind of back pain is a common complaint among large-breasted women, says Dr. Andrew Haig, director of the spine program at the University of Michigan. This pain is often the result of sheer gravity.

"A lot of times the pain is in the back of the rib cage and the spine area is because women are trying hard to arch their back so they don't fall forward because of the weight of their breasts," he says.

And while it's common knowledge that oversize breasts can have detrimental effects on the body, Kelly says it was the emotional pain that finally drove her to the plastic surgeon's office.

"Having breasts that size was horribly embarrassing," she says. "I didn't feel good about myself anymore; I was ashamed of myself. I fretted going clothes shopping because I'd go to nice clothing stores and they never carried anything that covered my chest. Many times I would look at my husband and just start crying."

Kelly's story is not an anomaly. She is one of thousands of American women who, for physical or emotional reasons, have had or are considering having their breast size reduced. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeon's 2007 national plastic surgery statistics, there were 106,179 breast-reduction procedures performed last year -- an increase of 25 percent since 2000.

Board certified plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Bermant of New York says his patients' breast reductions can be contributed to several major factors.

"One, they just don't like the size of their breasts," Bermant says. "Two, they find that even when they're doing nothing, the weight of their breasts tends to weight them down. And the third thing they complain about is that they feel that their breast size should be something that's determined by them.

"And, of course, they don't want people staring at them too much."

But Haig cautions against assuming that Hershey will experience similar kinds of emotional and physical pain.

"Not everybody who has large breasts will have neck and back pain. But on occasion I've seen people who've had breast reductions because of the pain they had in their back and shoulders and their pain was relieved because of it," he notes.

When Surgery Spells Relief

Still, breast reduction surgery is sweet relief for some. Kelly says that within a week of her surgery she was "feeling amazing" for the first time in years.

"You think it's going to be painful, but it was the best thing I could have done. It was a life-changing experience."

Since she is only one month out of surgery, Kelly doesn't know yet what her new bra size will be, but believes she's somewhere between a B and C cup.

"It's funny, you know? Every one of my friends has said, 'Man, I wish I could have what you have.' And I always say, 'You don't even know what they're asking for.'"

Apparently, Hershey and Kelly haven't met. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - When Big Breasts Are a Big Pain