The modern world of dating

The modern world of dating - What do you do when you see approaching on the horizon, a tall, dark stranger, sans wedding ring?

Some confident types might stroll over and ask them on a date. Others will wing a lustful glance, hoping to be noticed. Or perhaps you will visit The FitFinder, a new student Twitter-based website.

The idea is this. You’re sipping your latte in a local café and spot a possible mate. You post, anonymously, on The FitFinder, something along the lines of: ‘Male, brown hair, black sunglasses, cute as button.’ You then sit tight and hope the shades-wearing cutie might also log on, and notice your affections.

It’s a novel form of romantic proposition and one that swiftly follows on from the online dating craze. But can internet introductions really help to unify Britain’s 14 million singletons?

Online dating

Lying about your age, body or looks is easy online. About 50 per cent of men lie about their height, and 64 per cent of women lie about their weight on online dating sites. You could be in for a shock when your 6ft 5in, 30-something date, with Mediterranean looks turns out to be 5ft 4in with a pot belly and acne.

Do you want a relationship?

There’s no denying it, the world of dating is a daunting one. Exciting, yes; successful, sometimes; scary, always. Perhaps, it’s a world you’re not ready to enter — take our test and find out if you are ready for love.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I would much rather be asked out on a date face to face. Human interaction doesn’t seem too much of an ask. I don’t need roses, or a flock of white doves (save that for the second date). What do you think? Would you ever proposition someone with a tweet? ( psychologies.co.uk )

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Keep your tresses stress free

Keep your tresses stress free - We share some stress-free ways to keep your tresses looking chic and cool even in the summer heat...

The temperature's soaring and the mercury rising as we're nearing mid-May! And though it's an amazing time to lay around and get a tan, it's also time to control the damage the sun does to your hair. The summer sun and humidity is the hairs' worst enemy. Frizzy dry hair, split ends and brittle hair is a very common complaint in these months. The summer really makes you want to shave your head bald. But there are a few tips that can help you protect your hair:

• - Trim the damaged section of your hair and try to keep it short during the summer. Short hairstyles during the summer lets you enjoy the sun without worrying about damaging your hair.

• - If you don't want to cut your hair short, keep your hair knotted or tie it up in a bun to provide less exposure to the sun. Try wearing a cap or scarf to avoid direct sun-rays whenever possible. But make sure that it's not too tight to cut off circulation.

• - Use moisturising or leave-in conditioners. For extra conditioning treatment apply the conditioner on damp hair, wrap your hair in plastic before bedtime and sleep on it. This allows the conditioner to soak in and is effective in softening damaged hair.

• - You can rub lemon or hair oil mixed with amla into the scalp. This greatly reduces dandruff and cools the head.

• - If you normally use hair tools like hair irons and blow dryer, then now is a good time to give your hair a break. Let your hair air dry.

• - Use protective sunscreen on your hair if you have to stay out in the sun for long hours.

• - Chlorine causes dryness, so before going in for a swim dampen your hair to reduce the absorption of chlorine. Also rinse out your hair immediately after, with a deep shampoo and conditioner.

• - Drinking lots of water, juices and coconut water keeps your hair hydrated from within.

• - Take special care of colour-treated hair. Hair that has been dyed or highlighted is especially prone to UV damage. Take care by deep conditioning your hair using a product containing keratin, jojoba oil or other natural ingredients that increase moisture, shine and elasticity.

• - Try and avoid using warm water to wash your head. At the same time avoid taking head bath in extremely cold water. ( indiatimes.com )

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Prince William to marry girlfriend Kate Middleton

Prince William to marry girlfriend Kate Middleton – Britain's Prince William is to marry his long-term girlfriend Kate Middleton next year, Buckingham Palace said Tuesday, ending months of media speculation about the couple's plans to wed.

William, 28, the elder son of heir-to-the-throne Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana, and Middleton, 28, daughter of self-made entrepreneurs, became engaged while on holiday in Kenya last month.

Britain's Prince William (L) smiles as he walks with his girlfriend Kate Middleton at RAF Cranwell,

"The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince William to Miss Catherine Middleton," Charles's office said in a statement.

"The wedding will take place in the spring or summer of 2011, in London. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course."

The statement said William had informed Queen Elizabeth and also sought the permission of Middleton's father.

The Queen and William's grandfather, Prince Philip, said they were delighted at the news, while a cabinet meeting held by Prime Minister David Cameron was interrupted by a call from Buckingham Palace with the announcement.

"The prime minister is delighted to hear the news and has passed on his best wishes to the happy couple," Cameron's spokesman said.

William, who is currently serving as a helicopter search-and-rescue pilot in the Royal Air Force, met Middleton when they shared a house at university in Scotland in 2001.

They split up in 2007 because, newspapers said, Middleton, who has been dubbed "waity Katie" by the British tabloid press, was getting fed up of waiting for William to propose, but they soon got back together.

William has previously said he did not want to get married until he was 28, an age he reached in June.

Following the wedding, the couple will live in North Wales so the prince can continue his service with the RAF.

The engagement has been long predicted and rumors have abounded for months that an announcement was imminent. ( Reuters )

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Perfect 10s become perfectly meaningless on 'Dancing'

Perfect 10s become perfectly meaningless on 'Dancing' - Good or bad, all dancers scored big on the ballroom's special night - “Dancing With the Stars” celebrated its 200th episode Monday night, so the usual ballroom business took a break. Instead of fillerific clip segments, new routines and tough-talking judges, the dance floor featured familiar faces, somewhat familiar dances and sky-high scores.

Not that those scores had anything to do with the dances. As anyone who witnessed the paddle madness knows, the judges handed out 10s like leftover Halloween candy. Good moves, bad moves — it didn’t matter. It was “Dancing’s” big night, so everyone got a treat. Well, almost everyone.

The first 10 of the night served as the first clue that something wasn’t quite right. After delivering a poor imitation of the perfect paso doble Mel B performed with Maksim Chmerkovskiy in season five, Kyle Massey received raves from the judges, including guest judge Mel B. The Disney channel star landed two 8s, one 9 and one out-of-nowhere 10 from the group despite dancing on his tiptoes with his tush out.

If Massey’s numbers added up to a shocker, it was downright unbelievable to see last week’s last-place dancer, Kurt Warner, get his own 10. But he did, thanks to a good enough tango and his old and oh-so-generous NFL pal-turned-guest-judge Emmitt Smith. Heck, even Rick Fox, who took on the task of recreating Helio Castroneves’ unforgettable quickstep and zoot suit, grabbed his part of the perfect 10 action.

Even the struggling Kurt Warner and his "frying pan hands" managed to snag a 10 on "Dancing's" 200th episode

That marked the moment the lofty score lost all meaning.

No offense to the gents, but “Dancing” has a couple of unstoppable leading ladies this season. If whatever the fellas did suddenly passed for perfect, what would happen if Brandy or Jennifer Grey gave a genuinely perfect performance? There’s no 11 in ballroom. If there were, we would have seen it Monday night.

As it happened, leaderboard topper Brandy didn’t disappoint. Her version of Gilles Marini’s feverish foxtrot surpassed the original and fell just short of perfect. Too bad about that one tiny flub. Or not. See, Len Goodman, of grumpy nitpicker fame, saw the flawed footwork and decided Brandy earned a 10 anyway. (Sigh.) Of course he did.

It was much the same for early favorite Jennifer Grey. On the heels of two bad weeks, Grey needed a boost. Good thing she received her commemorative 200th episode perfect 10, along with a pack of 9s, following a respectable rendition of Drew Lachey’s season two tango.

Was it better than Fox’s quickstep? Sure! Could anyone tell that by looking at the scores? Nope!

By the end of the night, only one dancer failed to waltz away with her very own piece of perfection. Bristol Palin brought up the rear with her nod to Kelly Osbourne’s season nine Viennese waltz and had to settle on one 9 and three 8s. Still, a great score for a so-so dance. ( msnbc )

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Shyam Benegal on his love for art

Shyam Benegal on his love for art - Veteran director Shyam Benegal's choice of subjects for his films reveals a deep love for history and biographies, but lesser known is the filmmaker's interest in art and paintings. "I like art and among other works I still have a small painting of the head of Christ that was gifted to me by Anjolie a long time ago along with works by other artists," Benegal told PTI on the sidelines of a function held here recently to mark painter Anjolie Ela Menon's 70th birthday.

Apart from directing films based on historical events or biographies such as Zubeida, Junoon, Bose: The Forgotten Hero, Bharat Ek Khoj, and Mahatma Gandhi, the director has also done a lot of work on art history.

However, Benegal seems to wear a different hat when he is not directing.

"The manner of perception changes when you look at art. When you are directing a film you are going through the perception of a filmmaker, which is different when you are looking at art," says the director who has given Indian cinema Ankur, Nishant and Manthan among others.

Benegal who lived in Mumbai and dabbled in painting before turning to full time filmmaking says, "When I was in Mumbai it was an interesting time with a rich congregation of artists. There was Husain, Gaitonde and all of them. Also, Alkezi with his theatre and Ravi Shankar with his music school."

M F Husain and Gaitonde were part of the Progressive Art Movement of the 1950's and Ebrahim Alkazi went on to become the founder director of the National School of Drama. Sitarist Pandit Ravi Shankar had come to Mumbai and joined the Indian People's Theatre Association.

In their midst, Benegal says he lived and worked admiring the artists, painting with them a bit and writing poetry.

"Whatever we could afford we bought. I have some works that were gifted to me by the artists," says the veteran director who possesses works by a "couple of contemporary artists.

Meanwhile, even as his international film based on the life of Indian spy in the second world war -Noor Inayat Khan-has been currently put on the back burner, the old director is busy on his next project which he says is "a new contemporary film."

The ace director quotes American writer and Nobel laureate Ernest Hemingway while refusing to reveal details of the upcoming film.

"Just like Hemingway said, you lose it if you talk about it." ( hindustantimes.com )

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Flirting Over 50

Flirting Over 50. A subtle brush of the hand, an engaging smile, an encouraging glance ... by the time a person reaches the half-century mark, he or she knows all your typical "come-hither" tricks.

But it's important for midlife daters to realize that many of the tools they employed at age 20 (i.e., a hair flip with a giggle) may not be as successful at this point in life. So what are the rules for successful mature flirting? Check out the following tips we culled from top flirting experts to help you attract the attention you crave while still being age-appropriate.

Rule #1: Always choose subtle over overt

When it comes to flirting over 50, it's truly a case of less is more. Gone are the days of clear advances and major sexual innuendos. "There is not much to be gained by the skirt hike in this bracket," says Susan Rabin, author of How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting. "Same thing goes with leaning in to flash cleavage, wearing something see-through/too tight or other obvious sexual signals." And, guys, that means your sexual-innuendo jokes and double entendres won't cut it. Bottom line: You'll seem trashy instead of appealing. A better bet? Indication. For example, Rabin suggests that in lieu of blatantly flaunting her décolletage, a woman would be smart to wear a pendant that dips down a little lower than usual. "It still draws a man's attention to her bosom, which is a turn-on for the typically visual male, but it does so without a direct 'look at my chest' message," says Rabin. The point is, you can be sexy over 50 but you don't want to look like you're trying too hard to be sexy. And as for the guys, you can hold off on the sex jokes and references, and instead try a respectful, gentlemanly, "You look lovely tonight." The object of your affection will get the message that you're attracted to her without any hint of sleaziness.

Rule #2: Use formal etiquette to your advantage

At this age, good manners can actually act as a clever form of flirtation without being a blatant come-on. A man in his fifties, for instance, can put his arm around a woman, pull out her chair, or pay the bill. And a woman this age can accept these gestures or initiate one of her own by taking a man's arm while she's walking. Since you grew up during a more traditional age, these efforts will appear to be nothing but charmingly old-school.

Rule #3: Go for the honest approach

Lines don't work! Seriously, if you're over 50 and you try to entice someone with pick-up prose, the result will likely be crash-and-burn. "Using 'Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind' rarely works for this age group," says Rabin, who suggests a carrying a prop (a book, for example) or making a comment on something he/she is wearing as an opener instead. Dating guru David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers, agrees. "Hopefully you're secure enough with who you are by this age to just approach someone without a cheesy opener," says Wygant. "Try a simple 'I couldn't help but notice you and thought I'd say hello' to get the conversation rolling and if things go well, ask them out for coffee."

Rule #4: Employ "the look" and "the smile"

In honing the art of flirting, there is something to be said for a well-timed glance and grin, which is so effective it actually works at any age. Catch the eye of the person you're trying to attract and look at them for no more than five seconds: This clearly sets up the "Hello, I see you" signal. Glance down. Wait a couple of seconds before looking up again, but this time throw in a smile when you catch your target's gaze (you can even go big and add a slight head tilt, too). Look away again. Repeat the process if necessary. "You can do that whether someone's nearby or across the room, but when you give those signals, if there's reciprocal interest, he/she will usually get the hint and move closer," says Rabin.

Rule #5: Play up innocent physical cues

Gain flirting mileage by giving off "approach me" body language. Appropriate cues include touching/caressing your hair or presenting your neck (which means elongating your posture and slightly tilting the head to one side). Also, circling a wine glass with the finger is a very sexy but subtle move. And you would do well to try a little mimicry. "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery," says Rabin, who cites biological attraction studies to support the idea that playing copycat is a great way to flirt. "If he crosses his leg in a certain way, your cross your leg in a certain way. If she leans in a certain way, you lean in." Before you know it, you'll be engaged in a subconscious courtship dance without either party even being aware of the steps.

Rule #6: Be willing to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime

Go ahead and get the chat-fest rolling. "You just simply have to have better flirting skills over 50," says Rabin. "That includes listening, but also talking to people in line at the supermarket or while waiting for a latte." Rabin suggests instituting the QCC policy when you see a perfect flirting opportunity. This means either asking an open-ended question like "Have you seen this movie? I've heard good things." Or, throw out a comment like, "Wow, I'm not sure if that painting is the best backdrop for this restaurant. What's your take?" And if the opportunity presents itself, add a compliment, like, "Those are terrific shoes" (though the last one can be a little tricky and must be sincere).


Rule #7: Pay attention to the personality clues you're given

By and large, people connect and communicate via visual, auditory or kinesthetic (VAK) means, according to Rabin. And paying attention to his or her preference for one style of relating can be a flirting goldmine (and something the younger set probably doesn't have patience for). For example, if someone frequently says, "I see…," he or she is likely to be driven by the visual sense. If this person's sentences start with, "I hear what you're saying…" or "Listen to this…," then they might tend toward an auditory style of relating. And those who speak in terms of, "I feel…" or "I sense that…" lean towards the touchy/feely. "If you can identify a person's strongest sensory mechanism in the course of a conversation, you can then try to relate to them on that level," says Rabin. That means both appealing to those senses (great eye contact for the visual person) and mirroring their communication style (saying, "I noticed that…" or "I see that….") The likely outcome will be that the object of your attention will think you really 'get' them but may not be sure why. Cute trick!


Rule #8: Discover the "almost" touch

PDAs are not de rigueur for this flirting demographic. "People over 50 are usually not as demonstrative in public," says Rabin. That said, there is power in touch. The trick is to make it about touching in a way that's almost accidental. For women, try straightening his tie or gently picking a small piece of lint off his jacket. "It's OK to even gently rest her head on his shoulder in a movie," says Rabin. A man can subtly touch a woman's arm to help guide her across the street for example. Oftentimes these little skin grazes can be even more titillating than a full-out physical offensive.


Rule #9: Remember that you can flirt for fun now!

The best part about flirting over 50 is that you can actually just flirt for the sake of flirting. "I define flirting as acting amorously without serious intent," says Rabin. "People over 50 are usually not desperate to find a mate for the purposes of sex, marriage or children. The endgame is different, so they can just enjoy the process of being witty, playful and charming." And it's always nice to be considered appealing—a fabulous by-product of an innocuous flirt session. "Flirting is a great way to be reminded that you've still got it," says Rabin. ( msn.com )

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Hiring Manager Secrets

Hiring Manager Secrets. Adapted from "Career Building: Your Total Handbook for Finding a Job and Making It Work"

Here's the bottom line: You have to get a job, you have to go to work, and someday, you'll probably have to change jobs. "CAREER BUILDING: Your Total Handbook for Finding a Job and Making It Work" (Collins Business) is a one-stop guide for navigating all those times in your career.

If you worry about every possible way you can blow a job interview -- from mispronouncing the boss's name to babbling incessantly when you don't know what else to say -- you're going to walk in there feeling like you're destined to fail. True, job interviews are rife with opportunities for you to embarrass yourself, but hiring managers are more forgiving than you might think. We consulted some hiring experts about what is really going on inside their heads when interviewing job applicants. They offered the following insights:

They like you. They really like you.

ost hiring managers come to the interview wanting to hire you. They are hoping you are the best person for the job and can start when they need you. After all, you made it to the interview didn't you?

Show you are confident, even if you have to fake it.

ost hiring managers come to the interview wanting to hire you. They are hoping you are the best person for the job and can start when they need you. Have confidence. If you are frustrated with your job search, don't let that negativity show to the employer. Your pessimism can be a turnoff. Even if it's a temporary attitude brought on by rejection, the hiring manager might think it's your overall attitude. After all, you made it to the interview didn't you?

Don't apologize for being out of work.

layoff can happen to anyone. What do you do if it happens to you? Don't be ashamed -- in today's climate, layoffs occur (unfortunately) daily. Many job seekers are in your shoes. Don't apologize. Instead, focus on the job you are interviewing for by showcasing your skills and exhibiting how you are the best fit.

Target your job search.

hile you don't need to possess every single skill listed on a posting, you should at least be qualified for the position and prove that you have transferable skills. Your targeted résumé will help prove you're a serious candidate and have the right qualifications for the position. If you're spending time applying for jobs you're not qualified for, you're wasting valuable time you could be devoting to a position that's a better fit. If you recognize where your strengths lie and what transferable skills you possess, you'll see better results than if you apply to any posting you come across.

Get primed.

Tell me what you know about the company" or "Why would you fit in well here?" have become staple interview questions, so don't be caught off guard. Shrugging your shoulders and saying, "I don't know" isn't going to score you points. Look at the company's Web site and read press releases and newspaper articles to see what's going on with your prospective future boss. In addition to prepare for the interview, you'll learn whether the company and its culture are a right fit for you.

They don't want to hear what you think they want to hear

nterviewers have gotten very smart to picking up if someone's spewing something they've memorized from a book. By only saying what they think the employer wants to hear, job candidates are simply putting on an act, and employers can see right through that. You have to be yourself in an interview and you have to be sincere.

They don't expect you to have all the answers

mployers are more interested in how you find answers to things you don't know than if you pretend to know something you don't. In some cases, the interviewer may ask a question that he or she doesn't expect you to be able to answer simply to see how you handle it. If you ever find that you don't know the answer to an interviewer's question, the best thing to do is to admit that you don't know, but either add that you could give an educated guess or provide a way you might go about finding the answer. Most important, if you don't know, don't try to fake it. Not knowing is OK. Making something up or pretending to know is not.

They want you to want them

ou need to express genuine interest in the job or the company. As much as the recruiter wants to sell the candidate on the position and company, the recruiter also wants to know that the candidate actually wants to work in that position or for that company. ( msn.com )

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Seven ways to sell your experience

No Degree?. Seven ways to sell your experience. Becky Blanton, 53, has worked for five major media companies, been an assistant advertising director for a Fortune 500 company and owned her own newspaper. She's also currently writing a book called "Staying Hungry: The Official Guide for Never Settling for What Life Puts on Your Plate," about grit, determination and perseverance.

With such an impressive career backdrop, you might be thinking Blanton's educational background is equally impressive.

Though she has some college education under her belt, Blanton doesn't have her college degree. She does everything she can to gain experience by attending conferences, workshops, seminars and job training classes and shadowing friends at work.

Blanton is not alone in lacking a college degree. In 2007, 46.6 percent of the labor force had less than a high school diploma and 69.9 percent had no college degree, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. While getting an education is certainly important, many people argue that it's not the degree that's important; it's what you learn and how you apply it.

"There are many myths about what a degree can do for you," says John Murphy, author of "Success Without a College Degree." "Too many college grads depend on the promise that their degree is a 'golden ticket.' Employers know that vague degrees, such as English literature, humanities, sociology and liberal arts have little to do with the practical world. The things that get jobs have more to do with attitude, first impressions and experience than a diploma."

Blanton agrees that a diploma is not the most important thing to an employer. She says that not having her degree has never been a disadvantage.

"I have only been turned down from one job because of a lack of a degree and that was teaching journalism at a college," Blanton says. "Experience, not education levels, is what employers are after. They want to know you can do the job. I had to work a little harder, learn a little more and go the extra mile to show employers I could do the job. I learned the people skills, attitude and job skills to succeed and didn't rest on my 'I have a degree' laurels that so many people do."

If you don't have a degree and you're looking for ways to land a job in spite of it, here are some tips on how you can sell your experience, regardless of your education.

1. Be a problem solver

"Millions [of people] graduate with vague degrees that only attest to one's ability to read books and take tests, but not necessarily solve problems," Murphy says. "Industry experience conveys that you can solve problems for an employer right away or with little learning curve. Examine your experience and spell out how you helped solve problems, any problems. Competitors with degrees won't be able to compare."

2. Tell your 'Rocky' story

"Not having an impressive academic pedigree -- or any degree at all -- can be a plus if you've found a way to succeed to this point without one," says Sean O'Neil, principal of One to One Leadership, a sales and management training and recruitment company. "The more you can demonstrate a history of success relative to more pedigreed peers the better. You can paint yourself as a self-made professional, as compared with the silver-spoon Ivy Leaguer who had all the odds in their favor."

3. Be open to education

"Many companies have favorable back-to-school plans for their employees. If you're speaking with a prospective employer that places a large emphasis on academics, you might want to indicate a desire to take advantage of their plan," O'Neil says. "Demonstrating a desire to make up any gaps in your résumé while on the job might just tip the scales in your favor."

4. Don't make it a big deal

"Don't make it such a big deal and it just might not be," says Bill Gaffney of the Amaxa Group, a recruiting and coaching company. "If it is an impediment to you, then you are going to reflect that when you talk with the company. There are really very few companies where the degree will stop [someone] from hiring a person if they are the best out there."

5. Focus on achievements over education

"If you don't have a degree, it's very important for you to shine in every other aspect of your résumé," says Cathy Severson, career counselor and owner of Retirement Life Matters. "Don't settle for a list of tasks, but really demonstrate how you can do the job better than anyone else can. The best way is to do this is by providing concrete evidence of how you have excelled at similar tasks in the past through accomplishments."

6. Prepare your success stories

"For the interview, prepare several stories of success that showcase how you have accomplished tasks similar to others who possess a degree," says Barbara Safani of Career Solvers. If you are a sales professional, for example, focus on how you exceeded your sales targets and have done as well as or better than your colleagues. If you are an accountant, prove how you have uncovered errors and recouped money for the company -- despite the fact that you didn't formally study accounting. If you are a high school graduate competing against a recent college graduate, talk about the experience you have garnered in part-time or summer jobs or full-time jobs you had while others your age were at college, she says.

7. Create a combination résumé

"The most important task is to market your key skills and accomplishments to the employer by creating a résumé that focuses on your contributions to your previous employers and your experience that is most relevant to the position for which you are applying," says Winifred Winston, certified professional résumé writer. "By creating a combination résumé that lists your relevant skills and experience first, you are sure to capture the hiring manager's attention. You initially want the employer to be able to fold your document in half and just by reading the top portion they know you are someone they should contact to schedule an interview. Does that top portion list education? Not necessarily." ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Seven ways to sell your experience

When a Degree Isn't Enough

When a Degree Isn't Enough. Looking beyond your education to land a job. Talk to a dozen students on any college campus and you're likely to hear a dozen different perspectives on what they hope to get out of college. Some want high GPAs; some want to get into the work force and earn a lot of money.

Ask their parents and you'll get just as many different answers. Some parents hope that their children earn their degree and have an easy time finding a job. Others want them to be at the top of the class so they can get into the best graduate school possible. And some just want their children to stop partying long enough to attend class once in awhile.

Ask employers what they want from graduates and the answers are equally diverse. Depending on the job, you might need a degree and an internship, a degree and work experience, or the right connections to even land an interview.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 39 million Americans over 18 have a bachelor's degree. Considering that 281 million people live in the country, college graduates are still a small percentage of the population. Still, you are competing with a lot of job seekers who have the same educational background as you. Relying only on your bachelor's to land a job is not the safest route to employment. As with most things, it's all in the presentation.

Degree or not, presentation matters

Sue Chehrenegar studied biology as an undergraduate and biomedical research as a graduate student. During her job search, she found herself losing out on job opportunities because she lacked the proper experience, despite her education. Or so she thought.

"At the end of the 1980s, I spent more than one year looking for a job," she remembers. "I kept getting this question: 'Have you done anything in the area of molecular biology?'" She would tell employers that she didn't have the proper experience because she wasn't specifically trained for that. "I did not mention the fact that I once assisted a graduate student who was putting DNA and RNA into cultured cells."

What does that mean in layman's terms? Because her specialization and the bulk of her experience were not in this particular field, she didn't consider the limited work with the graduate student worth mentioning. She later realized employers weren't looking for someone to be the ultimate authority on the subject; they wanted someone who had a broad range of knowledge.

"I realized my mistake more than two years after I got a job," Chehrenegar remembers. "My first year I worked in an infectious- disease lab. Later, they put me in a molecular biology lab. When I helped with one of the projects in that lab, I realized that my old, unmentioned experience related to what I was doing at that time."

A degree isn't useless

Sure, if you're applying for a job with "bio" as a prefix, you know a degree is a requirement. But for less research-intensive jobs, you might think a degree can be supplanted by enough experience. Depending on your occupation, that could be true --but isn't a hard and fast rule for all positions.

For example, you might be able to find work at a museum, but you'd be unlikely to transition into a curator job without extensive education in art history and related courses. You could find that you hit a ceiling in an organization.

Although this bodes well for graduates who come armed with one or more degrees, it also means that workers have the opportunity to earn an education while they ascend the corporate ladder. In some cases, the combination of their experience and a recently awarded degree could make them more impressive than job seekers who have relied on their degree and haven't diversified their experience.

How to present yourself

Here are some tips to keep in mind when presenting yourself to employers:

• Even though you know education isn't the single factor in getting hired, it is often a prerequisite to land an interview. Don't hide your degree just because you have a lot of experience -- you don't want to lose out on an interview because your education was overlooked.


• Use all of your education to your advantage. Connect the job requirements to any courses you took, whether as an elective or part of your minor. You might not have loved that statistics course, but if it's relevant to the job, mention it.


• Treat work experience and internships as proof that you're a professional, not just a student. If you speak as if you don't consider yourself as part of the working world already, the employer might not ,either. ( msn.com )

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What's 'In' and 'Out' on the Job Hunt

What's 'In' and 'Out' on the Job Hunt. Monogrammed stationery.A Rolodex filled with business cards.The Sunday want ads.

These job search tools have all gone the way of the dodo. But are you still using tactics that are similarly slated for extinction?

Like all trends, those that define the job search change over time -- sometimes often, and sometimes dramatically. To give yourself the best possible chance of landing a new position, you need to use the most up-to-date approaches. And if you haven't launched a job hunt in several years, you could be behind the times.

Here are some job search tactics that are "in" and "out":

Out: Blanketing local employers with a résumé and cover letter addressed "To whom it may concern."

In: Researching prospective employers and applying to companies where your skills and interests match their needs. In a competitive job market, a generic résumé won't grab a hiring manager's attention. The best applications are highly targeted to the opportunity. That means not only researching the appropriate contact so you can address the hiring manager by name but also detailing how your skills and experience can meet the potential employer's exact needs.

Out: Stilted language in application materials (e.g., "Please find my résumé attached in response to the job posting ...").

In: More natural prose that provides a sense of your personality. Soft skills are more important than ever, and employers want to get a sense of your personality to ensure you will mesh well with existing staff members. So use your résumé and cover letter as a way to show the hiring manager who you are. But keep in mind that these documents should still remain professional -- you can get your personality across without resorting to shorthand, slang or "text speak."

Out: Using unusual résumé formats to hide employment gaps.

In: Filling potential gaps through volunteer or temporary work. Some job seekers have used functional résumés to downplay gaps in their work history. But this format -- in which the person's skills are listed at the top of the document, and the work history is truncated or omitted -- could raise red flags by making it seem like you have something to hide. Today's hiring managers realize that many talented people are out of work right now through no fault of their own, so don't think you need to hide a recent period of unemployment. Instead, demonstrate that you've remained professionally engaged while searching for a new position by taking on volunteer or temporary work.

Out: Overly detailed résumés.

In: Streamlined résumés that list relevant accomplishments. Hiring managers don't have much time to devote to your résumé, so you need to make a positive impression right away. The best way to do so is to cut out unnecessary information from your document -- for example, accomplishments from a job you held two decades ago, the clubs you belonged to in college (unless you're a recent graduate) or that your references are available upon request. Focus on the skills you have that match the employer's requirements and, in particular, bottom-line contributions you've made in previous roles.

Out: A narrow focus in your job search.

In: A broad view of how your skills might be useful in various roles. In today's job market, you may need to be creative to land a new position. Think about the skills you possess and how they could be applied in new ways or in an entirely new position or field. For example, your experience spearheading a product launch could position you for a role as a project manager.

Out: Networking occasionally.

In: Networking constantly using tools such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, as well as in person. The best way to find a job remains through word of mouth. And, in the recession, a lead or referral from a contact can give you the edge you need to land a new position. Online networking Web sites make it easy for you to keep in touch with members of your network, but keep in mind that face-to-face interaction is still important. Offer to treat people to coffee on occasion to catch up and talk about your search.

Out: A set reference list.

In: A customized reference list for each opportunity. Like your résumé and cover letter, your reference list should be fluid and targeted to the opportunity. When providing this information to a prospective employer, think of who can speak best about your most relevant skills for that position, not who has the most impressive job titles. For example, if you are interviewing for a management position, have the hiring manager reach out to individuals you've supervised in the past.

Out: Ending the interview by asking when they'll be contacting you.

In: Ending the interview by asking for the job on a trial basis. It never hurts to be proactive. If you think the employment interview has gone well, don't be afraid to ask if you can prove yourself on a temporary basis. You'll demonstrate your enthusiasm for the job and desire to hit the ground running.

The fundamentals of the job search -- reaching out to employers and making a positive impression -- haven't changed. But the tools for doing so are different today than even just a few years ago. Make sure you understand the current trends to maximize your success on the job hunt. ( msn.com )

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Five Ways to Refresh Your Outdated Network

Five Ways to Refresh Your Outdated Network. When Steven Spenser, 52, was laid off from his Seattle-area software company in 2001, he decided to become a stay-at-home dad. Seven years later, when he started looking for full-time work, he faced a problem: All his old contacts and job references were seven to 12 years old.

"Tracking down my previous references proved problematic since many of the companies were Internet startups that have gone out of business," Spenser says. "I've found that two are willing to sing my praises again, but I have no one to direct to them."

The process of his network becoming outdated was gradual, he says. Spenser continued to see old colleagues and work friends socially for a few months after his layoff, so he didn't foresee any point at which he would fall out of touch with them. Eventually, his former co-workers stopped calling and he was too busy to notice.

"Being a first-time father kept me so preoccupied for a few years that I didn't really bother thinking about the downstream effects of not keeping in touch with anyone," Spenser says.

Many people these days are in Spenser's position: After working at the same business or for only a few companies throughout their careers, workers are finding themselves unemployed with an outdated Rolodex and no job references in sight. Though experts recommend networking constantly, many professionals find it difficult to maintain business relationships and keep up with everyday life.

"After awhile goes by of being out of touch, the withdrawal takes on a life of its own and it can seem harder to get back into touch than just do nothing and let the status become quo," Spenser says.

To avoid running into this problem, the idea obviously is not to let your network get outdated in the first place.

"People need to keep their network alive long before they are laid off and in search of a job," says Thom Singer, author of "The ABC's of Networking." "To wait to contact someone until you have a major need, like needing a job, will make you look like a taker: 'Hi, I have found you useless to keep in touch with for five years, but now I am hoping you will drop everything and help me,' just does not fly."

So how do you go about finding contacts that have fallen off your radar?

Start rebuilding

To begin renewing his network, Spenser did Google searches, looked on online White Pages and checked directory assistance. He finally found one former supervisor through his son's company Web site. He was able to track down a former client by finding his new business information online. Both contacts were very willing to help Spenser and serve as a continued reference.

Not all people are accepted so openly, however, when trying to refresh cold contacts. If you find yourself needing to contact someone you haven't spoken with in a long time, you should own up that you dropped the ball, Singer says.

"Tell people that you never understood why networking mattered and thus had not done a good job of keeping up," Singer suggests. "Admit that this stint of being unemployed and in need of help is humbling and that you've learned a lesson. People are more likely to want to help someone who is honest like that than one who calls up expecting assistance after not ever calling before."

If you're looking for ways to update your network, here are some ways to get the process started:

1. Make a list

Create a list of everyone you know and have known, whether or not you know where they are today, suggests Duncan Mathison, an author, speaker and consultant on companies and professionals impacted by layoffs. Circulate the list to people you have stayed in touch with and they can often fill in the blanks, reintroduce you and even remind you of others who would be worthwhile to connect with.

2. Perform a Google search

Start by typing in the full name of the person you are searching for, says Melissa Cassera, publicity specialist. Try searching for the full name + the state in which the person lives. If you find a name but no contact information, try typing in the full name + the word "e-mail" or "phone."

3. Contact your undergraduate or business school

You may score current contact information by responding to requests from your alma mater's alumni association, says Debra Condren, business psychologist, coach, author and founder of AmbitionIsNotADirtyWord.com. Update your own contact information and professional biography and stay visible to your former classmates, she says. "Let folks know what you're up to and they may surprise you with a blast-from-the-past phone call or e-mail, just when you were wondering how to find them."

4. Use social networks

Look up old colleagues on LinkedIn, Plaxo, Jigsaw, Brightfuse and Facebook, Cassera suggests. Many of these sites have search functions where you can search by company -- even if people have left the organization, there's a good chance they've listed it in their previous work history.

5. Fill in the gaps

If you are missing links in your network, you must replace or renew them. Revisit your trade organization, attend local networking events and use your current database to get connected to new contacts, says David Hults, author of "From Cornered to Corner Office." If you're laid off, ask people who would be good contacts. Some will surely know the "movers and shakers" in your industry. ( msn.com )

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Newlywed Rules to Ignore

Newlywed Rules to Ignore. Ever feel like there are expectations you're supposed to live up to as newlyweds? And if you don't buy into them, you're not doing the whole married thing right? Well, we say forget that. Here are some so-called rules you shouldn't think twice about ignoring.

Rule 1: You have to be Mr. and Mrs. Same Name/Same Account/Same Life
Ignore it.

Maybe your friends were psyched when they finally got to use return address stickers featuring their new last name. But there's no set rule on how you two should go about merging—you have to do what's right for you, and that could mean keeping your name and maintaining your own accounts. If you're on the fence, consider using a joint account for all your household bills, while maintaining personal checking and savings accounts for all your other expenses. Just one quick trip to the bank, and you're done. No identity crisis necessary.

Rule 2: Once you're married, you need to put a five-year plan into place
Ignore it.

Some couples have their entire future mapped out. "We'll probably move to the burbs by '09, and then we'll have to start thinking about having kids—two girls and a boy—and buttering up to preschools in the area." Alrighty then. Just because pals may have a master plan—including the month they want to conceive—doesn't meanyou should, especially since life rarely goes according to plan anyway.

Rule 3: You need to phase out your individual friends and meet new couples
Ignore it.

Why is it that as soon as you get hitched, you're expected to be hot on the trail of other duos to befriend? You're still the same people you were before you got married, so don't buy into the pressure to fill some arbitrary couples quota. The individual friends you've had for years—the ones that were with you long before your spouse showed up—are still a big part of your lives, even if they're at different stages.

Rule 4: You should be spending all your free time together
Ignore it.

Having quality time together is important, but you had a full life before getting hitched, and you still should now (hello, that's why you found each other interesting in the first place). Schedule more nights doing your own thing or take a short vacation if the opportunity comes up. Yes, your other half will survive -- and may even thank you! ( thenest.com )

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Daytime Date Ideas

Daytime Date Ideas

Watch the Sun Rise

You’ve probably watched the sun set many, many times, but when was the last time the two of you caught the sunrise? Check the time online at SunriseSunset.com, grab a blanket and a thermos of hot cocoa, and enjoy the calmness of the morning hours together.

Street or County Fair

Whether it’s a pie bake-off on a farm or a falafel stand in the city, street and county fairs are great places to sample food and soak up the local flavor. During the holiday season, check out craft fairs too. You just might find some cool gifts.

Hiking

Even for couples living in a city, a wooded area or hiking trail is almost always within a 30-minute drive. Pack your hiking boots or a comfortable pair of sneakers, two large bottles of water and a small snack (unless you’ll be hiking all day, in which case, go all out with sandwiches). Find trails near you on Trails.com.

Bike Ride and Picnic

Bike to a scenic locale in your area – visit MapMyRide.com to find routes – and have a picnic at your destination. Spread a blanket on a flat spot, and dine on fresh fruit, chocolates, cheese slices, and other easy-to-carry-while-biking foods.

Ride in Style

Rent your dream car for the day from a service like Zipcar, which has rentals ranging from Mini Coopers to Mustang convertibles

Have a Spa Day

Book couples massages and other relaxing treatments at a local salon. Spend the day relaxing and getting pampered together.

DJ Lessons

This one’s a twofer: not only will you two learn how to spin on turntables and mix your own beats, you’ll be able to provide the entertainment at your next party.

White Water Rafting

Courses range in intensity from Class I (essentially smooth sailing with no experience required) to Class VI (picture The River Wild). Determine whether you want a leisurely drift or a white-knuckle thrill ride, then bon voyage.

Volunteer

Get your butts off the sofa and do some volunteer work together. It’s a great way to bond while doing something worthwhile. Carry that euphoric feel-good vibe home and get charitable between the sheets.

Rent a Boat

If you live near a marina, chances are you can rent a boat for a day and go for a sail. If you’re not the sailing type, go for a boat ride on a local waterway. Hint: pack a picnic! ( thenest.com )

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In-Law Proof Your Home

In-Law Proof Your Home. Wait, is that the doorbell? It's time to hide the vices ( 71% of Nesties admit to doing it!) and steal these tips to make your abode more PG: parentally gratifying.

Whip out family photos

Replace those crazy Cancun pics of you doing apple-pie shots with family photos (son plus his beaming mom at the wedding is always a hit). Hint: Slide your family photo behind the crazy one in the frame. Should you get a surprise visit, you can quickly swap out the incriminating shot.

Bring out the blooms

Remember after your wedding, when you looked at each other and said, “What the hell are we going to do with all of these vases?” Pull them out and fill ’em with flowers.

Lower the bar

Your frat brothers might be totally impressed by your extensive, top-shelf bar, but if your in-laws see it, they’re going to spend the rest of the night researching Al-Anon groups on the Internet. Streamline your liquor selection and display just a few select bottles.

Hide the XXX stuff

Take a good look in your nightstand and goodie drawer and decide what you wouldn’t want them to see. Birth control pills, some lube, condoms and fun electronic devices scream, “Your child is having sex, dirty sex!” Stash it all in your sock drawer.

Stock the fridge

Parents always worry about whether their kid is eating right, so load your fridge with fresh fruit and veggies, and keep a variety of cookbooks in view...even if you’re really subsisting on Subway and cereal.

Show off the tchotchkes

When ol’ Betty and Bob come over, they’ll be looking around for the (tacky/cheap/inappropriate) gifts they bought you. So keep all the knickknacks you were given in a box under your bed and quickly display them right before your in-laws arrive. Once they leave, toss ‘em back in their hiding place. ( thenest.com )

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What are your friends for?

What are your friends for? -- There are friends that you have polite chats with, and there are your best friends. They're the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.

A friend recently sent me news about some phenomenal successes he is enjoying in a new business venture. I responded enthusiastically about his amazing gifts. He e-mailed back: "You, my friend, are too much! But I must say, I love having my own cheering section!" I responded, without even thinking, "What are friends for?"

Precisely! Friendship is about being what a hero of mine described as "balcony people" instead of "basement people."

Basement people are those who live in our minds, telling us we will never amount to anything, that we are doomed to fail and that we are royal screwups.

Balcony people are those who are consistently cheering us on. "Go for it," they say to our attempts to find our voice, to live in ever widening circles, to dare, to create, to break through our lives' sound barriers.

Good friends cheer you on to "go for it" and stand by you when you're at your neediest.

While not all of us are made to be married or to live in an intentional formal community, be it a kibbutz, ashram, monastery, convent or commune, all of us are created to live in some form of friendship. Friendships are what help us be human.

Although my wife is indeed my soul friend, in this essay I am not using her as an example of friendship. The following thoughts are about something that is more universal than marriage -- having soul friends who are not one's partner or spouse.

My best friends and I get together regularly to share the deepest part of life, the part that is about Being as opposed to Doing. Sure, we speak about what we do in our jobs, our other relationships, our spiritual, sexual, athletic, medical, familial doings.

But the experiential, life-giving juice that feeds our soul and binds us together over the years and takes us to ever deeper dimensions is the conversation we have at the being level. That's the place where your soul stands naked before someone else and receives unconditional acceptance in return.

From time to time, we speak about what an exasperation-free oasis our friendship is. Both of us have had some important relationships that soured because someone got exasperated with us. Not that we didn't deserve it.

But there is something about my best friends, who just don't get exasperated with me, no matter how much I deserve it. As a result, I am not guarded with them, and when we fall back into old patterns of thinking, "If I tell him this, the friendship is over," that's where we have over the years taken the risk to tell it all. That's where the friendship is made even stronger.

My best friends are the people with whom I feel safe to talk about mad, sad and hurt feelings. Most other relationships stay at the feeling levels where everything is "fine," although we all know that's not true. But my best friends never shy away from those times when we feel the neediest -- when our feelings have been hurt, when we are so angry we could spit fire, when we are grieving and depressed, when we feel unacceptable. Over and over, those are the times that have made us feel more bonded.

The secret to all of this is that best friends are invested in being their true selves. Sure, they tolerate any posturing that comes from the false self. But the safety of the friendship is such that in their presence I can feel the superficiality of any of my ego-based claims or judgments. With that realization, I remember that I don't want to live on the surface of life, and then I simply move into the deeper waters where my true self waits to cool, refresh and renew.

For me, investing in time with my best friends is profoundly spiritual. Standing naked before another, knowing that acceptance will trump exasperation and working through tough feelings as well as surface living to move to the true self is the essence of life with God. We can't be fully alive without it. ( cnn.com )

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Buying Time for Gender-Confused Kids

Buying Time for Gender-Confused Kids. Misunderstood Procedure Delays Puberty in Children. A procedure that some are mistakenly calling a sex change treatment for children has been drawn into the spotlight in recent days -- although it has been going on for many years.

A treatment to delay the onset of puberty in gender-confused kids is garnering media attention.

(ABC News Photo Illustration)

In an interview with National Public Radio broadcast earlier this month, Dr. Norman Spack, a pediatric endocrinologist at Children's Hospital in Boston, revealed that he has at least 10 pediatric transgendered patients to whom he has been giving a hormone-blocking treatment to delay puberty.

Citing recent unwanted media attention, Spack declined, through a spokesman, to be interviewed for this article.

But other doctors say that while Spack may be the first to go public about what he is doing, he is not the first to help children delay their puberty so they can reach maturity before deciding if they would like to transition to the opposite sex..

Milton Diamond, a sexual development researcher and the director of the Pacific Center for Sex and Society at the University of Hawaii, says he knows of doctors who have done this before, "but people don't generally advertise it," he says.

He pointed to the Netherlands, where hormone-blocking therapy has been administered to transgendered youths for more than 20 years.

But Diamond says that the hormone-blocking therapy itself is not sex reassignment.

"It's a delaying tactic to allow the individual to come to terms with the direction he or she wants to go," he says. "What you're doing is allowing the individual more time to make a decision."

Is It Safe?

Jamie Newton, a spokesman for Children's Hospital, confirmed that the treatments are done in accordance with the Harry Benjamin guidelines (generally accepted clinical guidelines for treating transsexual patients), which call for fully reversible treatments for prepubescent children.

The therapy entails an injection of either luteinizing hormone-releasing hormone (LHRH) or medroxyprogesterone, which block estrogen or testosterone to delay the onset of puberty.

The regimen is typically given to children (mostly girls) who reach puberty very early, when the parents and physician opt to delay the process a few years to aid with normal development.

Medroxyprogesterone is known commercially as Provera, a drug injected once every three months as a birth control medication.

"LHRH has been used for 20 years, medroxyprogesterone probably that long, if not longer, so we know they're safe and effective," says Alan Rogol, a clinical professor of pediatrics at Riley Hospital of the Indiana University School of Medicine and the University of Virginia.

Also, he says, a child will undergo normal puberty following the hormone-blocking treatment, and it is fully reversible should a transgendered child choose not to undergo sex reassignment or transition once they reach adulthood.

"There is no question that it's reversible, and I'm unequivocal about that," says Rogol.

In addition to delaying the onset of puberty, the hormone-blocking process does help patients avoid unwanted bodily features if they do decide to undergo a sex change upon reaching adulthood. It is the changes of puberty that often cause the most distress for transgendered children.

"We're talking about things that have a profound, significant influence on the child's life," says Diamond.

Male transsexuals can avoid going through menstruation, while female patients can avoid growing body hair or developing a deep voice if they begin sex reassignment once their childhood hormone-blocking regimen ends.

Transitions and Follow-Ups

Although the treatment is reversible, Diamond says that most who reach that point will go on to transition.

"Almost all those who have gender identity disorder continue on to surgery, or at least continue on to transitions," says Diamond.

In his interview with NPR, Spack confirmed that assessment.

"My confidence comes partly because I've yet to see one change their mind and partly because we're using the psychological testing methods the Dutch have perfected, and they've yet to see one person change their mind," he says.

While the procedure allows children to more easily undergo sex reassignment upon reaching adulthood, sex reassignment surgery is controversial.

First performed in the first half of the 20th century, sex reassignment surgery gained prominence when former soldier George Jorgenson underwent the operations in Europe and became a media sensation as Christine Jorgenson.

In 1966, the Johns Hopkins Hospital announced that it was performing sex reassignment surgery through its Gender Identity Clinic. Those procedures were halted in 1979, when a study by Dr. Jon Meyer, a follow-up on patients who had undergone the operations, did not show any improvement in their wellbeing.

Dr. Paul McHugh, then the head of the psychiatry department at Hopkins, made the decision to halt the procedures, saying they destroyed healthy organs and that physicians needed to focus on healing transgendered persons' minds, rather than altering their bodies.

Many transgendered persons continue to undergo sex reassignment surgery, although a great number of them do so abroad. Because of a lack of reporting, exact numbers are hard or impossible to come by.

Since Johns Hopkins closed its clinic, no other hospital of that stature has made a public announcement of resuming the surgeries.

How Do You Know?

The closing of the Hopkins clinic led some to question how to tell when someone is truly transgendered, particularly children, who may simply have interests more often associated with the opposite sex.

"That always involves clinical judgment," says Diamond. "How do you know, when you're talking to a friend if he's pulling your leg? The more you know about a person, the more you can judge if he's lying or not. You don't make those decisions on one interview."

The important thing, says Diamond, is to be careful and aware that errors can be made in treatment.

"You have to be a little bit humble and realize you may make a mistake," he says.

But, he says, when used properly, delaying puberty until they are adults may be the best way to help a number of transgendered children grow into successful adults.

"If I thought it was appropriate, I wouldn't have hesitation in doing it," says Diamond. "I think it's a worthwhile practice, but like everything else, it has to be used judiciously." ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Buying Time for Gender-Confused Kids

Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys

Why Nice Guys Finish Last. New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys. Ricky Menezes, a 22-year-old from Marlborough, Mass., says he knows he will hook up with "about 20 girls" in the next month.

New research suggests that bad boys may indeed beat nice guys when it comes to getting female attention.

(Getty/ABC News)

How does he know this, you ask? Ricky knows this because he's what we call a "bad boy" -- the type of guy who knows exactly how to act, what to say and how to manipulate women into giving him what he wants.

"It all started in high school," Ricky said. "I started being the outgoing, crazy, funny kid that everyone thought was fun and wanted to hang out with."

After being validated by his peers in high school, Ricky said he has more or less mastered the art of being a bad boy, and has done so with one overriding goal in mind -- sexual conquest.

"I don't pretend to be anything I'm not," Ricky said. "I'm honest and outspoken. I say that I'm just looking to hook up. ... I'm not afraid to go for it, and I rarely get rejected.

"Oh, and I'm in a band. You have to be in a band. Girls love guys in bands," he added.

Most everyone knows -- or at least knows of -- a stereotypical "bad boy" like Ricky. The guy with such high self-esteem he could aptly be called a narcissist. The guy who wins women over with deceit, callousness and impulsive behavior. Basically, the type of guy who resembles a real-life version of Hugh Grant's character in "Bridget Jones' Diary."

The success of Ricky and so many other "bad boys" with women seems to add weight to the popular saying "good guys finish last."

And there might be more than just a grain of truth in these mantras about bad boys; new research suggests they might actually be attracting more women than their "nicer" counterparts.

The Positive Side of Negative Traits

Researchers at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces gave 200 college students personality tests to see how many of what psychologists call "dark triad traits" they possessed. These traits include callousness, impulsive behavior, extroversion, narcissism and various other anti-social traits for which "bad boys" are known.

The researchers also asked about the student's sex lives, their feelings about sexual relationships, their number of sexual partners, and what they are seeking in sexual or romantic relationships.

According to Peter Jonason, lead study investigator, although society tends to look down upon these "negative" dark triad personality traits, there seems to be quite an upside to being a bad boy.

"We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive -- that women are attracted to these bad boys and they do pretty well in terms of sheer numbers of sexual partners," Jonason explained. "They're taking quantity over quality as their sexual agenda, being serially monogamous and having multiple partners or one-night stands."

Jonason compared the type of "dark triad bad boy" that the study refers to as a modern-day James Bond figure -- a man with little empathy for others, a penchant for fast cars and even faster women, and a seeker of short-term rather than long-term goals -- especially concerning the opposite sex.

And because these characters appear in this study to be successful at achieving their short-term goals -- which, in this case, is a short-term sexual relationship -- Jonason believes such character traits have persevered in so many people because they seem to be evolutionarily successful.

"Dark triad traits are useful in pursuing our agendas at any given time," Jonason explained. "If you like someone and want to meet them and date them, people who have the dark triad traits appear to be more successful at facilitating short-term mating."

Jonason validated this point with a comparison to the popular VH1 show "The Pick-Up Artist," wherein nerdy, nice guys meet with a typical bad boy to learn how to pick up more of these dark triad traits -- and also more women.

Nice Guys Win in the End

But some experts say it might not be so simple.

Heather Rupp, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, believes that the reason women may be drawn toward the "bad boys" is more because of physiology more than psychology.

"I think it goes back to the physiological underpinnings of such an attraction," Rupp said. "For instance, testosterone is a hormone that in men is linked to more dominant personality traits -- outgoing personalities and charm and things like that. And men with higher testosterone are rated by independent observers as being more outgoing and charming than others."

Some experts, however, believe that these narcissistic males tend to embellish the self-reported tales of their own sexual conquest, leading others to believe they are more sexually successful than they really are.

"People high in dark triad traits tend to say what they think others want to hear," said Everett Worthington, professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Moreover, Worthington notes that while some of these males may be more successful at short-term sexual relationships, their overall success with long-term relationships is often compromised by their dark triad traits.

"The manipulative 'It's all about me, so tell 'em anything to get sex' behavior is likely to have more short-term sexual success," Worthington said. "A strategy of building trust and intimacy and commitment is, by nature, going to take longer. Thus, the payoffs are likely to be greater in the short term. However, long-term relationship survival is likely to be strongly disadvantaged in people with dark triad traits."

So maybe good guys don't always finish last. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys