Aussie mum's sex allegations put Prince Andrew in hot water

Aussie mum's sex allegations put Prince Andrew in hot water - An Australian mother of three, linked to convicted billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein, has revealed herself as the woman at the centre of an international under-age sex allegations.

Virginia Roberts, 27, now lives in Australia and has also claimed she met Prince Andrew, Duke of York, three times while working as a personal masseuse of his friend Epstein.

The Daily Mail reports these claims have put Andrew’s suitability as an ambassador for UK’s foreign trade in serious doubt.

The newspaper has also published a picture of the Duke with his arm around the bare midriff of Roberts in what has been described as their first meeting.

Roberts was reportedly hired to work as an ‘erotic masseuse’ and perform sexual favours for Epstein and his billionaire friends.

She was employed as a 15-year-old by Epstein and she was 17 and above when she met the prince.

There is no suggestion of any sexual relations between the pair, The Daily Mail reports.

However, in a civil writ she has filed against Epstein, Roberts alleges being "sexually exploited by Epstein's adult male peers including royalty", the paper reports.

Andrew remains close to Epstein, 58, and has stayed at his New York mansion as recently as December.

Epstein has been at the centre of many a scandals including admitting to child sex crimes in 2008 and being placed on the US sex offender register.

Roberts, who now has two sons and a daughter, reportedly left Epstein when he "wanted her to have his child and sign a contract relinquishing her rights to the youngster".

She went to Thailand and met an Australian who subsequently she married, the paper reports. ( news.yahoo.com )

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Why the very concept of male-female friendship makes people uncomfortable

Why the very concept of male-female friendship makes people uncomfortable - Searching through the New York Public Library's online catalog for books on friendship between men and women, I expected to find a wealth of titles, but when I entered my first keyword phrase, "male-female friendship," the system asked me if I meant "female friendship." "Cross-gender friendship" yielded "frost and friendship" (meaning the poet).

Next I went with "man-woman friendships," which led, bizarrely, to "my animal friendships." (Or maybe not so bizarrely: Men recognized the virtues of canine companionship long before they came around to women.) "Cross-sex friendship," the term of art used by psychologists, turned up "profane friendship."


There's been astonishingly little work done on cross-sex friendship in any field, and the work that has been done is mostly inward-looking—how men and women feel about these relationships and how they manage them rather than what these relationships might mean for society. In trying to piece the latter together, I've wondered if the substitution of profane for cross-sex is unwittingly astute.


Certainly the Inquisition felt that a woman who pals around with her confessor somehow desecrates a sacred relationship by evening it out. The "Dear Prudence" commenter who wrote that "[S]haring a hotel room with an 'old friend' of the opposite sex simply isn't appropriate for people who are in committed relationships with each other" was making a similar argument: It's not kosher to maintain a cross-sex friendship and a romance at the same time. And by suggesting that male-female friendship is impossible, Hollywood sends the message that the relationship is taboo: It doesn't exist because it must not exist.


What's behind this impulse to deny male-female friendships—or to thwart them? Before the 20th century, when the chief obstacle to cross-sex friendship was a structurally unequal society, it's fairly obvious why non-romantic relationships between men and women made people uncomfortable: They put the lie to the idea that women have nothing to offer men outside of their traditional responsibilities (sex and child rearing). Michel de Montaigne cautioned in 1580 that women are not "firm enough to endure the strain of so tight and durable a knot" as friendship. If they really are "firm enough," though, who knows what else they might be capable of doing?


This conservative anxiety is still very much in evidence in certain parts of the world. A 2008 New York Times article on young Saudis from the nation's capital, Riyadh, notes that unmarried men cannot enter malls where women shop and that getting caught with an unrelated woman (in a completely innocent situation) can mean arrest and flogging. Even wedding ceremonies are separated by sex. Naturally a system exists to make weddings possible—arrangements between families, matchmakers—but there is no chance whatsoever for unrelated young men and women to meet as friends.


In the more level West, where the top-down barriers to friendship between the sexes have fallen away, the emphasis has shifted to undermining platonic relationships by suggesting that they're actually frustrated romances. Could the current objection to male-female friendship be an outgrowth of the older one? Maybe the "sex problem" is just another way of talking about how men and women are hopelessly different, hopelessly at odds.


Today it's no longer acceptable to suggest (publicly) that men and women aren't equal, but it's perfectly OK and even fashionable to state that we're equal but separate—that our brains work in fundamentally different ways, that we communicate differently, that we're metaphorically from different planets (Mars and Venus). The gender-war evangelists make men and women seem so far apart, so incompatible, you'd think that, if it weren't for the biological imperative to reproduce, men and women would want absolutely nothing to do with each other. This take on human relations serves as the basis for nearly every joke in the long-running TV series Everybody Loves Raymond, most Tyler Perry jokes, and maybe a significant percentage of all jokes. Maybe these theories are widespread because they're true—after all, men and women are not exactly the same; dissimilarities do exist. Or else we're drawn to them because they quietly justify lingering inequities.


The one variety of male-female friendship whose authenticity nobody questions, and which gets abundant screen time, does not rattle the gender-war thesis; I mean relationships between gay men and straight women. In reality, gay-straight friends come in all varieties (the equivalents of Brandon and Sue, Sean and Jody, Joel and Ruth). But in the popular imagination, the gay-male half of these relationships almost invariably takes on a feminine persona—he likes to shop and to gossip, like Stanford Blatch in Sex and the City. This isn't a friendship between a man and a woman, but a friendship between two people who both like guys. The gay man is just one of the girls.


When it comes to straight cross-sex friendships, such rationalizations are impossible. Here's a "regular" guy and a "regular" girl. Somehow they've overcome their natural differences and managed to build a platonic relationship.


In practice, moreover, cross-sex friendships challenge the very concept of what it means to be an ordinary guy. Academic research confirms the trope that when women get together, they spend their time communicating thoughts and feelings. Men are more likely to discuss neutral subjects such as sports, or engage in some activity. Summarizing the difference, the psychologist Paul H. Wright has said that women's friendships are "face-to-face" while men's friendships are "side-by-side." But when men and women start hanging around each other platonically, they meet somewhere in the middle in terms of emotional exchange. Research shows that cross-sex friendships are more emotive than male-male relationships and less emotive than female-female ones. In my own survey of nearly 600 Slate readers, I heard from men who said that what they like about their cross-sex friendships is the ability to share without fear of judgment, and from women who said they valued the opportunity to watch sports, for example, without having to pick apart their feelings.


It's possible that those who choose to enter into cross-sex friendships are less gendered to begin with—so it's not that the relationship encourages less stereotypical, less differentiated behavior, but is a result of it. Call it the Louisa May Alcott take—in the 1868-69 novel Little Women, Jo and Laurie have a platonic friendship, of sorts (Laurie proposes marriage but Jo rejects him). It's clear that they get along in large part because Jo isn't feminine—she's outspoken and rowdy—and because Laurie, in turn, isn't masculine: He's perceived as unmanly by his grandfather, not tough enough for the business world.


I know that, in my cross-sex friendships, the traits that supposedly make men and women so separate (excluding physical differences) are hardly in evidence. My friend Jeff preferred art class to gym class (he hyperventilated when he had to run a quarter mile our freshman year), wrote poetry about the girls he liked, and would tidy his room, including the closets, before they came over. He cries when he watches E.T.—or at least he did when we saw the 2002 rerelease in theaters. As for me: I don't watch sports; I have poor hand-eye coordination; I don't play video games. But I don't like to shop, and I confess I'm not entirely sure how to apply eyeliner. E.T. has never made me cry.


Did Jeff and I become friends because we don't fit gender typecasts to an unusual degree (the Alcott take), or did our friendship make us more androgynous? The answer probably comprises a bit of the former and a bit of the latter, but either way, our friendship led me, at least, to dismiss the whole Mars-Venus thing. As a greater percentage of men and women experience cross-sex friendships, it stands to reason that more people will come around to this point of view and that the more extreme versions of the gender-divide argument will fall out of favor. ( slate.com )

READ MORE - Why the very concept of male-female friendship makes people uncomfortable

Berlusconi accused of four-in-a-bed romps with prostitutes

Berlusconi accused of four-in-a-bed romps with prostitutes - Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was today at the centre of allegations he took part in four-in-a-bed sex sessions.

Berlusconi, 73, is due to have a 'working dinner' with David Cameron on Wednesday and the two will then give a joint press conference - with aides of the Italian fearing potentially embarrassing questions.

Last summer the media tycoon was embroiled in a scandal when it emerged escorts had been among guests invited to parties he had hosted at his official residence in Rome.

Escort Maria Teresa De Nicolo (right) has alleged she shared a bed with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and two other women

Today a statement to prosecutors by escort Maria Teresa De Nicolo, 38, known as Terry, was published by Italian newspaper La Repubblica which revealed the group sex claim.

Ms De Nicolo's involvement in the parties last year was known but her claim that she and two other escorts were in bed with Berlusconi had not been known.

In her statement she said: 'In the bed there was me, two girls from Rome and Berlusconi,' she added how the scene had unfolded at Berlusconi's Palazzo Grazioli residence in Rome.

Ms De Nicolo had been invited to the party by businessman Gianpaolo Tarantini, who is at the centre of a corruption probe in his hometown of Bari in southern Italy.

Details of escorts attending Berlusconi parties emerged after intercepted telephone calls between Tarantini and others were leaked in which he spoke of the girls.

Ms De Nicolo described how Tarantini had called her and given her 30 minutes notice to get ready for a flight from Bari to Rome and that he had said: 'Tonight we are going to dinner with Berlusconi.'

She added: 'I thought it was a joke. Then he gave me the details and told me to "dress sexy".'

In her statement she described how she was driven to Palazzo Grazioli and was surprised at the lack of security.

Last year, escort Patrizia D'Addario claimed she had also spent the night with the Prime Minister

Ms De Nicolo said there were 'fifteen girls' at the party and she added that at the evening Tarantini had 'made it clear he wanted me to stay the night.'

She went on: 'I spent some hours sleeping alone and some hours with the girls, these two from Rome and Berlusconi,' before adding that when she left the next morning he had given her jewellery as a gift.

Her statement also added how Tarantini had given her 1000 euros as well as paying for her travel expenses.

Last year another escort Patrizia D'Addario, 43, revealed how she had also spent the night with Berlusconi and she later released a tape in which he told her to 'touch herself' during sex.

Ms D'Addario later published a book in which she recounted her time at Palazzo Grazioli and praised Berlusconi for his sexual stamina saying he 'deserved a place in the Guinness Book of Records.'

Today there was no-one immediately available at Berlusconi's office to comment on the claims, which also come ahead of a confidence vote on junior justice minister Giacomo Caliendo who has been questioned as a corruption probe.

Berlusconi has also lost his majority in parliament after he threw his Party of Freedom ally Gianfranco Fini out of his party pushing his centre right government coalition to the brink of crisis. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Berlusconi accused of four-in-a-bed romps with prostitutes

Adrianne Curry gives her fans a Tweet as she posts naked photos on Twitter

Adrianne Curry gives her fans a Tweet as she posts naked photos on Twitter. As a professional model Adrianne Curry knows how to show off her body to its best advantage.

But mid-shower, make-up free and covered in foam, she can still strike a winning pose.

The winner of the first America's Next Top Model showed off her near-naked figure in a photo posted on her Twitter page.

Daring: Adrianne Curry posted this picture of herself in the shower on her Twitter page

Labelled 'I always keep my promises...' the image used a layer of lather to preserve her modesty.

The 27-year-old is married to The Brady Bunch's Christopher Knight - their gothic wedding featured in the U.S. reality TV show My Fair Brady.

Adrianne is a big user of Twitter and previous posted images include her 'butt naked & stoned' playing World Of Warcraft.

The self-confessed geek is outspoken in her love of comic books and paraphernalia.

I'd rather be reading a comic: One of a series of titillating photos posted on her Twitter page by self-confessed geek Adrianne Curry

In an interview with comic book fan site majorspoliers.com she explained: 'When I was a very little girl. I spent my days watching Dark Crystal, Legend, The Last unicorn, Neverending Story, and Star Wars.

'I am ashamed to admit it, but I was young, I also watched the Ewok Adventures. My Dad is HUGE into everything fantasy and sci-fi, and I guess he just rubbed off on me.

'He was more into Star trek though. As for comics, I was a tomboy, and most of my friends were boys, so that came naturally.'

Getting some sun: The America's Next Top Model winner is married to The Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight

( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Adrianne Curry gives her fans a Tweet as she posts naked photos on Twitter

Sex Isn't Just Fun, It's Healthy

Sex Isn't Just Fun, It's Healthy. Take care of your body and live life as a confident sexual being as you age. Want a simple way to increase your longevity?. Try sex. It's one of the most fun things we humans can do.

But first of all, safe sex - or more accurately, "safer sex" - is using techniques and products to reduce the risk of infection or pregnancies from intercourse. Products shown to reduce the transmission of infections include condoms or protective barriers such as dental dams and female condoms.

Most of us don't need a medical excuse to have sex, but for those of you who need arm-twisting, here are some important reasons to get playful:

Sex may reduce pain: The chemical oxytocin is released from the brain during orgasm, and this in turn seems to release endorphins into the body. Endorphins are the body's natural painkillers.

Sex may prevent illnesses such as colds and flus: A 1999 study at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that people who have sex one or two times a week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A, the immune cell protein that protects against viral illnesses.

Sex burns calories: perhaps 200 calories.

Sex gives muscles a workout: Muscles in the pelvic floor (the ones that help bladder control) are strengthened during sex. Muscles in the back, thighs, glutes, abs and arms can get a workout.

That's great, you may say, but you're older now, and your sex drive has tanked a bit. Remember that intention is the most powerful force at work when you want to bring something into your life. Make it your intention to have a passionate sex life.

Take care of your body and live life as a confident sexual being as you age. Here are more tips for enhancing your sex life:

• Keep healthy. Obesity, diabetes and vascular disease can wreak havoc on sex. Avoid smoking, eat a healthy diet and keep a healthy weight.

• Get exercise. Aerobic exercise enhances blood supply to the genitalia, which enhances orgasm.

• Try using sex toys and lubricants. The hands get more arthritic, the penis gets softer, the vagina gets drier and the female orgasm takes longer. Vibrators and lubricants are a great ways to get around these challenges.

( healthkey.com )

READ MORE - Sex Isn't Just Fun, It's Healthy

Can sex keep you young?

Can sex keep you young?. It may sound too good to be true but the secret of prolonged youth is much simpler than strict dietary regimes and expensive cosmetics.

The most effective way to keep your looks, according to the latest comprehensive research, is to maintain an active love life.

Couples who make love three times a week look seven years more youthful than their less romantically inclined counterparts, says the study, which interviewed people aged between 18 and 102.

'Improving the quality of one's sex life can help a person to look between four and seven years younger,' says consultant neuropsychologist Dr David Weeks.

A good sex life leads to greater contentment, significant reductions in stress, better sleep and, in men, an increase in testosterone output.

Dr Weeks questioned more than 3,500 volunteers during a decade of research into the secrets of youthful appearance and behaviour.

He concluded that genetic factors were only 25 per cent responsible for youthful looks while behaviour was 75 per cent the cause. And one of the main behavioural factors was sex as part of a long-term relationship.

Casual encounters with many different partners did not have the same effect, it was found. 'The significance of the sex factor came as a surprise,' said Dr Weeks. 'As much as other physical activity, sex is an important part of life for the "super-young" from late adolescence or early adulthood throughout their entire lives.'

Dr Weeks, head of old age psychology at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, says his theory is supported by the appearance of stars such as Goldie Hawn, 54, and Shakira Caine, 52, both of whom have enjoyed long-term and apparently fulfilling partnerships.

His study adds that sex releases 'feel-good' chemicals in the brain that can relieve headaches and even arthritis.

Regular lovemaking also boosts the body's natural defences against infection.

Dr Weeks, who has written a book Secrets of the Superyoung based on his research, said: 'Like a number of other stimulating sensations, sex releases a group of substances in the brain, among them the beta-endorphins, natural painkillers that can also alleviate anxiety.'

As well as sex, Dr Weeks and his team of researchers found that any form of regular exercise helped preserve youthful looks. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Can sex keep you young?

Newlywed Rules to Ignore

Newlywed Rules to Ignore. Ever feel like there are expectations you're supposed to live up to as newlyweds? And if you don't buy into them, you're not doing the whole married thing right? Well, we say forget that. Here are some so-called rules you shouldn't think twice about ignoring.

Rule 1: You have to be Mr. and Mrs. Same Name/Same Account/Same Life
Ignore it.

Maybe your friends were psyched when they finally got to use return address stickers featuring their new last name. But there's no set rule on how you two should go about merging—you have to do what's right for you, and that could mean keeping your name and maintaining your own accounts. If you're on the fence, consider using a joint account for all your household bills, while maintaining personal checking and savings accounts for all your other expenses. Just one quick trip to the bank, and you're done. No identity crisis necessary.

Rule 2: Once you're married, you need to put a five-year plan into place
Ignore it.

Some couples have their entire future mapped out. "We'll probably move to the burbs by '09, and then we'll have to start thinking about having kids—two girls and a boy—and buttering up to preschools in the area." Alrighty then. Just because pals may have a master plan—including the month they want to conceive—doesn't meanyou should, especially since life rarely goes according to plan anyway.

Rule 3: You need to phase out your individual friends and meet new couples
Ignore it.

Why is it that as soon as you get hitched, you're expected to be hot on the trail of other duos to befriend? You're still the same people you were before you got married, so don't buy into the pressure to fill some arbitrary couples quota. The individual friends you've had for years—the ones that were with you long before your spouse showed up—are still a big part of your lives, even if they're at different stages.

Rule 4: You should be spending all your free time together
Ignore it.

Having quality time together is important, but you had a full life before getting hitched, and you still should now (hello, that's why you found each other interesting in the first place). Schedule more nights doing your own thing or take a short vacation if the opportunity comes up. Yes, your other half will survive -- and may even thank you! ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - Newlywed Rules to Ignore

Daytime Date Ideas

Daytime Date Ideas

Watch the Sun Rise

You’ve probably watched the sun set many, many times, but when was the last time the two of you caught the sunrise? Check the time online at SunriseSunset.com, grab a blanket and a thermos of hot cocoa, and enjoy the calmness of the morning hours together.

Street or County Fair

Whether it’s a pie bake-off on a farm or a falafel stand in the city, street and county fairs are great places to sample food and soak up the local flavor. During the holiday season, check out craft fairs too. You just might find some cool gifts.

Hiking

Even for couples living in a city, a wooded area or hiking trail is almost always within a 30-minute drive. Pack your hiking boots or a comfortable pair of sneakers, two large bottles of water and a small snack (unless you’ll be hiking all day, in which case, go all out with sandwiches). Find trails near you on Trails.com.

Bike Ride and Picnic

Bike to a scenic locale in your area – visit MapMyRide.com to find routes – and have a picnic at your destination. Spread a blanket on a flat spot, and dine on fresh fruit, chocolates, cheese slices, and other easy-to-carry-while-biking foods.

Ride in Style

Rent your dream car for the day from a service like Zipcar, which has rentals ranging from Mini Coopers to Mustang convertibles

Have a Spa Day

Book couples massages and other relaxing treatments at a local salon. Spend the day relaxing and getting pampered together.

DJ Lessons

This one’s a twofer: not only will you two learn how to spin on turntables and mix your own beats, you’ll be able to provide the entertainment at your next party.

White Water Rafting

Courses range in intensity from Class I (essentially smooth sailing with no experience required) to Class VI (picture The River Wild). Determine whether you want a leisurely drift or a white-knuckle thrill ride, then bon voyage.

Volunteer

Get your butts off the sofa and do some volunteer work together. It’s a great way to bond while doing something worthwhile. Carry that euphoric feel-good vibe home and get charitable between the sheets.

Rent a Boat

If you live near a marina, chances are you can rent a boat for a day and go for a sail. If you’re not the sailing type, go for a boat ride on a local waterway. Hint: pack a picnic! ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - Daytime Date Ideas

Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!

Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!. Do this. Don't do that. With all the pregnancy advice out there, it's hard to know what to believe -- or whom to believe. But remember, every pregnancy is different, so follow your doctor's orders above all else.

Myth 1: Eat Three Healthy Meals a Day

False! You should be eating six or seven small meals every two to three hours. "Eating frequently and from various food groups will keep your blood sugar in a constant range, which is healthy for you and your baby," says Stuart Fischbein, MD, coauthor of Fearless Pregnancy.

Myth 2: You Can Drink Alcohol

True! If you want to toast your sister at her wedding with a glass of bubbly, "go ahead," says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine and coauthor of A Woman's Guide to Sexual Health. "One glass of wine isn't going to hurt the baby," she says. But one glass here and there doesn't mean nine -- in fact, two or more alcoholic drinks daily can lead to fetal alcohol syndrome. So while it's best to cut out alcohol completely, Dr. Minkin says that an occasional small glass of wine with your pasta primavera is harmless.

Myth 3: Decaf Only

False! One small cup of coffee a day is perfectly fine. While a recent study at McGill University in Montreal did find that the caffeine in two to three cups of coffee a day increases the risk of miscarriage, it didn't consider how the coffee was brewed and the type of coffee used. Dr. Minkin points out that a French blend served black is much stronger than a weak cup of American coffee mixed with milk. It's another controversial subject for sure, but moderate caffeine intake isn't likely to harm you or your baby. The same goes for sodas with a caffeine jolt.

Myth 4: Cut out the Cheese

True! Well, you don't have to ban all cheeses. Some kinds, like cheddar and Swiss, are innocuous because they've been pasteurized. It's the soft, unpasteurized products like Brie, feta, and goat cheese that might carry food-borne illnesses. If you're lucky, the market you frequent will carry pasteurized versions -- just start looking at labels more often. And then you can still enjoy your crackers with cheese.

Myth 5: You're Eating for Two

False! Pregnancy isn't a time to pig out. You certainly have a bit more leeway when it comes to a second helping of supper, but on average, women need only about 300 extra calories a day.

Myth 6: Say So Long to Seafood

False! Chances are that if the reputable (and tasty) sushi bar you love so much hasn't made you sick pre-pregnancy, you're not at risk when with child. Yes, there's a greater risk of ingesting bad kinds of bacteria from raw foods (so you might feel more comfortable with a cooked-shrimp roll), but if you had spicy yellowfin tuna before realizing you were pregnant, no harm done. The dangerous mercury levels, you ask? Again, it's all about moderation. Enjoy tuna on rye once a week, not daily.

Myth 7: You'll Have to Suffer Through Sickness

False! Many OTC meds are safe during pregnancy, but somehow women believe they need to put up with migraines and be a slave to the runs. Not so. You should consult your ob-gyn before you take anything, but many experts give the following drugs the green light: Tylenol for headaches and fever; Tums or Mylanta for heartburn; Imodium for diarrhea; Robitussin for colds; and Sudafed or Benadryl for allergies. Many prescription drugs are also okay to continue with during pregnancy, but again, follow your doctor's orders.

Myth 8: They'll Know You're Not a Natural Blond!

False! Being pregnant doesn't have to compromise your appearance (at least not above the belly), but you do need to be smart. Dr. Fischbein says that while there's a theoretical risk associated with coloring your hair (chemicals being absorbed through the scalp), studies haven't shown anything conclusive. He recommends avoiding dye for at least the first trimester, when the baby's organs are forming.

Myth 9: Manicures Are Out

False! You don't need to forgo weekly manis just because you want to be a mommy. "You would need massive and long-term exposure to the products before there was a chance of problems," says Dr. Fischbein. You might get a little nauseous from the fumes with your newfound sensitivity to odors, but if that's the case, make your appointments for less crowded times of the day. (thenest.com )

READ MORE - Pregnancy Myths -- Busted!

Chronic Pain and Sex: a Couple's Gentle Battle With Fibromyalgia

Chronic Pain and Sex: a Couple's Gentle Battle With Fibromyalgia. Chronic Pain and Intimacy: One Need Not Preclude the Other. Cynthia Armistead, 41, is in nearly constant full-body pain. She has fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and severe arthritis, forcing her to take morphine to get through the day. And, on a pain scale of one to 10, a good day is a six.

Nevertheless, the Decatur, Ga., woman is determined to maintain a healthy sexual life with the love of her life, a man she met 10 years ago. And he is just as determined to make the adjustments necessary to keep their relationship going strong.

For some couples, chronic pain is a serious consideration when it comes to intimacy

"There are times when the air on my skin hurts," Armistead says. "It's not just a disease of pain, it's a disease of hypersensitivity."

Doctors call this allondynia. It means that the brain interprets neutral or pleasant stimuli —, like gentle touch or running water from a faucet —, as pain. Patients also commonly experience hyperalgesia, which is an extreme reaction to painful stimuli.

Dr. Theresa Lawrence-Ford of Duluth, Ga., describes putting moderate pressure on one's fingernail bed to illustrate.

"It would take a patient half as much pressure to experience the feeling as someone without fibromyalgia," she says.

Women are about nine times more likely than men to experience fibromyalgia, according to the American College of Rheumatology, which also estimates that 6 million Americans, of 2 percent of the general population, are afflicted.

As for Armistead, the chronic pain and fatigue she suffers has forced her to abandon her career as a technical writer. But she has not given up on joy.

Ten years ago she fell in love with a man who is understanding of her condition, and willing to do whatever it takes to make their relationship continue to work.

"You really have to focus on the non-physical aspects of love when you're in a relationship with a person in chronic pain," says her partner, Sam Chupp, 40. "You have to concentrate on the mental and spiritual bond in order to carry you through times she has a flare [the worst period of pain]."

Armistead says that "25 percent of the time I'm in flare. When I'm in flare I don't even want to be looked at hard."

Nevertheless, says Dr. Cynthia Lawrence-Elliott — who's in private practice with her sister, Lawrence-Ford — when it comes to this disorder, it is important to follow what she calls the ABCs of a healthy sensual life.

"A is acceptance and adaptation," says Lawrence-Elliott, who once treated Armistead. "B is for learning the basics and for doing what it takes to boost one's self-esteem. Ignorance coupled with fear are common enemies of sexuality. C is connect and challenge."

By connect, Lawrence-Elliott means that one must shed any shyness when discussing one's body with a physician or partner. By challenge she means that it's necessary to challenge oneself to do so, even when the issue is embarrassing.

Armistead and Chupp seem to be following the doctor's recommendations chapter and verse. No matter how much her body hurts, Armistead says she wants to maintain some version of intimacy with Chupp. To this end they have dedicated two nights a week to spending time alone with each other, sacred time that they guard very strictly.

Armistead does everything she can to feel good on their scheduled nights. She refrains from shopping or going to appointments on those days (that would make her too tired), and her teenage daughter (from a previous marriage) goes out with friends.

The challenging part is that even though they can schedule time for each other and stick to it, there's no way to schedule random flare-ups. The key, Chupp says, is not to set specific goals for the night.

"We just say we are going to enjoy each other, no matter what it turns out to be," he says. "Cuddling is a wonderful thing and can happen a lot more often than sex."

"I'll put it this way. Sometimes you want to share a big fancy dinner with her, but it turns out you just have to have a sandwich by yourself," he says.

The estimated 12 million American couples who deal with this disorder may be grateful that Chubb and Armistead are not overly shy in answering questions about how one makes love to a partner who has what Armistead calls "skin hunger," which is the normal need to be touched.

"I haven't been able to stand a massage for years," she says. "We've learned to be very gentle," she adds, noting that hypersensitivity is not always a bad thing. "I take my morphine. A warm bath loosens my muscles. But mostly, being aware, being able to say — well, it's important in any relationship to be able to say — 'that's a bit too hard' makes all the difference."

It also takes a creative mind, says Chupp. Happily, they are both good storytellers. They have shared story nights where they say they inhabit imaginative worlds peopled with characters of their own creation.

"It's not super kinky or like Dungeons and Dragons," he says. "It's a way to take our minds off her pain. One thing I really like about Cynthia [his partner] is that all you have to do is look at her and she blushes."

Chupp has advice for those whose partners suffer from chronic pain. "Millions of pillows. Low impact positions. And realize this is not something you can do in ten minutes — it takes hours and hours. You have to think of it as an entire evening."

Sounds like a dream for millions of women —, with or without chronic pain. And it's doctor-approved. "Sex can decrease pain because it releases positive hormones like endorphins," Lawrence-Ford says. "Endorphins decrease physical and emotional distress, enabling the patient to reclaim her sensual life and sexual intimacy."

Armistead and Chupp agree. "You have to scale back your expectations from high school —, but high school was never this good," he quips. "When you are in love with someone and she is in pain all the time, when she wants to have sex with you in spite of it, it means she really wants to have it. You feel chosen and special." ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Chronic Pain and Sex: a Couple's Gentle Battle With Fibromyalgia

When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective

When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective. Our Gay Wedding, My Straight Brain . I'm getting married in less than two weeks and can't think about much else.

Mostly I worry about:

A) fitting into my dress (cream-colored Indian cotton, tea-length skirt) and

B) how we're going to unload sixty Ikea champagne flutes after the wedding.

But I've also been thinking about my fiancee's brain. And my own.

ABCNEWS.com recently reported on a Swedish study indicating that the brains of gay people are more like the brains of straight people of the opposite sex than they are like straight members of the same sex. The study bolsters the conventional wisdom — popular among gays and straights alike — that homosexuality is not a choice but a physical condition.

In purely reductionist (and slightly facetious) terms, gay men have girl brains and gay women have boy brains.

No kidding. You've seen them, two women maybe, boy brains both, deeply in love. They dress like twins — identically cropped hair, polo shirts, khakis.

But what about when a straight woman's brain falls in love with a gay woman's brain? How to describe. Butch/Femme? That's very old school, almost vintage, which is why Margie and I secretly like the terms. I chose a retro theme for our wedding invites.

Margie and I will be wed in the garden behind our newly renovated (well, not quite, but more on that later) home in the Berkshire foothills in front of about 60 friends and family.

We found the little Massachusetts stone house two years ago. The stocky, tough-talking real estate agent from Boston couldn't believe her luck when she let us in. We walked across the orange shag carpet to the enormous picture windows looking out onto acres of garden, white birch and mountain laurel in a trance.

Our teenaged Bearded Collie grinned widely, lifted one leg and relieved himself against one of the wooden supports before anyone could do anything.

The rarely emotive Margie stood in front of the ski-lodge style fireplace and made an announcement. "I love it! We'll take it! I don't need to see upstairs!"

We did take it, but I still had my job in the city. It became our weekend DIY project. And my weekend escape from the chaos of a difficult work situation. And also escape from a level of commitment ambivalence that made my pulse race, feeding my impulsivity. In the country with Margie, there was no temptation.

I had affairs, though, with men. Eventually, I fled our home and, ironically, through an intense but short-lived relationship with a near-perfect guy, I realized the depth of my love for Margie.

He was attentive, adventurous, smart. I really liked him, but I couldn't love him, because I was already in love.

I'm so glad she wanted me back.

These days my mother and I are creating and revising the wedding menu by phone (she lives in South Carolina), and my dad (who lives in Cleveland) has come through with the cash for my favorite champagne and an extraordinarily difficult-to-book DJ.

Margie's 80-year-old mother, Juanita, is making the trip from the suburb of Shaker Heights, Ohio, to sew chair cushions and curtains in preparation for our overnight guests. Margie is her youngest child — her tomboyish baby. Juanita and Margie's older sister knew she was gay before Margie did.

An only child, I gave new meaning to the words eccentric and prissy. I hated wearing pants and didn't get my first pair of jeans until age 12. I cried until my mother sewed lace around the trim of my little white socks. Of all the things she worried about when it came to my future, gayness didn't make the list.

Today I work in New York, writing mostly about health and beauty. Manhattan nurtures my hypochondria, fat-phobia and free-floating angst like no city ever has.

Margie, my foil — an ectomorphic specimen of perfect physical health due to a lifelong preference for an athletic, Spartan lifestyle — is a carpenter and design snob who prefers breathing clean air. Though the odds are against us in this economy, we hope to maintain both residences.

As I type, my beloved — having just finished rebuilding the stone steps — is pouring the concrete for our custom kitchen counter tops. If it was up to me the kitchen would be 100 percent Ikea and completed last year.

But Margie is an artist. Prefab is to carpentry is what MadLibs is to writing; this is something I've had to learn.

She just phoned to ask my opinion (again) about the color she plans to mix in to the concrete. We're really down to the wire (11 days!) and it's hard to keep the tension out of my voice when I tell her not to worry, the dark stain will be fine. But I manage.

I speak softly and soothingly. When we hang up she sounds reassured.

In the early days of our relationship, we screamed at each other like siblings, but I've since learned better.

The way to handle Margie when things get tough is to pretend she is a guy and to "manage" her as such — just like the illustrated 1960s book called something like "Advice and Etiquette for Young Ladies" I once perused on the floor of my grandparent's library. The advice the editors gave was not just for dealing with boys, it was for dealing with boy brains. Who knew?

I've never had an MRI, but I'm pretty sure I have a straight girl brain (if there really is such thing).

What does that mean?

Is orientation a matter of biology for her and a matter of choice for me? I suspect that what we call "orientation" is not much more significant than any general preference. Like hair color, social class, weight or ethnicity. Sure initial drives play a role, but if we truly seek love, we may broaden our prospects if we put aside our preferences once in a while.

At any rate, I question the premise that falling in love is a matter of choice. Love chooses us, it seems.

Yet on the orientation continuum, is Margie "gayer" than I am? Not anymore. I am devoted to her, and in two weeks we will be married, and we (James, our Beardie, makes three) will be a gay little family. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - When Biology Doesn't Explain Gay: One Woman's Perspective

Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys

Why Nice Guys Finish Last. New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys. Ricky Menezes, a 22-year-old from Marlborough, Mass., says he knows he will hook up with "about 20 girls" in the next month.

New research suggests that bad boys may indeed beat nice guys when it comes to getting female attention.

(Getty/ABC News)

How does he know this, you ask? Ricky knows this because he's what we call a "bad boy" -- the type of guy who knows exactly how to act, what to say and how to manipulate women into giving him what he wants.

"It all started in high school," Ricky said. "I started being the outgoing, crazy, funny kid that everyone thought was fun and wanted to hang out with."

After being validated by his peers in high school, Ricky said he has more or less mastered the art of being a bad boy, and has done so with one overriding goal in mind -- sexual conquest.

"I don't pretend to be anything I'm not," Ricky said. "I'm honest and outspoken. I say that I'm just looking to hook up. ... I'm not afraid to go for it, and I rarely get rejected.

"Oh, and I'm in a band. You have to be in a band. Girls love guys in bands," he added.

Most everyone knows -- or at least knows of -- a stereotypical "bad boy" like Ricky. The guy with such high self-esteem he could aptly be called a narcissist. The guy who wins women over with deceit, callousness and impulsive behavior. Basically, the type of guy who resembles a real-life version of Hugh Grant's character in "Bridget Jones' Diary."

The success of Ricky and so many other "bad boys" with women seems to add weight to the popular saying "good guys finish last."

And there might be more than just a grain of truth in these mantras about bad boys; new research suggests they might actually be attracting more women than their "nicer" counterparts.

The Positive Side of Negative Traits

Researchers at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces gave 200 college students personality tests to see how many of what psychologists call "dark triad traits" they possessed. These traits include callousness, impulsive behavior, extroversion, narcissism and various other anti-social traits for which "bad boys" are known.

The researchers also asked about the student's sex lives, their feelings about sexual relationships, their number of sexual partners, and what they are seeking in sexual or romantic relationships.

According to Peter Jonason, lead study investigator, although society tends to look down upon these "negative" dark triad personality traits, there seems to be quite an upside to being a bad boy.

"We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive -- that women are attracted to these bad boys and they do pretty well in terms of sheer numbers of sexual partners," Jonason explained. "They're taking quantity over quality as their sexual agenda, being serially monogamous and having multiple partners or one-night stands."

Jonason compared the type of "dark triad bad boy" that the study refers to as a modern-day James Bond figure -- a man with little empathy for others, a penchant for fast cars and even faster women, and a seeker of short-term rather than long-term goals -- especially concerning the opposite sex.

And because these characters appear in this study to be successful at achieving their short-term goals -- which, in this case, is a short-term sexual relationship -- Jonason believes such character traits have persevered in so many people because they seem to be evolutionarily successful.

"Dark triad traits are useful in pursuing our agendas at any given time," Jonason explained. "If you like someone and want to meet them and date them, people who have the dark triad traits appear to be more successful at facilitating short-term mating."

Jonason validated this point with a comparison to the popular VH1 show "The Pick-Up Artist," wherein nerdy, nice guys meet with a typical bad boy to learn how to pick up more of these dark triad traits -- and also more women.

Nice Guys Win in the End

But some experts say it might not be so simple.

Heather Rupp, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, believes that the reason women may be drawn toward the "bad boys" is more because of physiology more than psychology.

"I think it goes back to the physiological underpinnings of such an attraction," Rupp said. "For instance, testosterone is a hormone that in men is linked to more dominant personality traits -- outgoing personalities and charm and things like that. And men with higher testosterone are rated by independent observers as being more outgoing and charming than others."

Some experts, however, believe that these narcissistic males tend to embellish the self-reported tales of their own sexual conquest, leading others to believe they are more sexually successful than they really are.

"People high in dark triad traits tend to say what they think others want to hear," said Everett Worthington, professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Moreover, Worthington notes that while some of these males may be more successful at short-term sexual relationships, their overall success with long-term relationships is often compromised by their dark triad traits.

"The manipulative 'It's all about me, so tell 'em anything to get sex' behavior is likely to have more short-term sexual success," Worthington said. "A strategy of building trust and intimacy and commitment is, by nature, going to take longer. Thus, the payoffs are likely to be greater in the short term. However, long-term relationship survival is likely to be strongly disadvantaged in people with dark triad traits."

So maybe good guys don't always finish last. ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - Why Nice Guys Finish Last New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys

More Sex May Help Damaged Sperm

More Sex May Help Damaged Sperm. Daily sex could help men with damaged sperm, some doctors say. For men with fertility problems, some doctors are prescribing a very conventional way to have a baby

In a study of 118 Australian men with damaged sperm, doctors found that having sex every day for a week significantly reduced the amount of DNA damage in their patients' sperm.

(Getty Images)

In a study of 118 Australian men with damaged sperm, doctors found that having sex every day for a week significantly reduced the amount of DNA damage in their patients' sperm. Previous studies have linked better sperm quality to higher pregnancy rates.

The research was announced Tuesday at a meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Amsterdam.

Dr. David Greening of Sydney IVF, a private fertility clinic in Australia, and colleagues looked at 118 men who had damaged sperm. Greening and colleagues told the men to have sex every day for a week. After seven days, the doctors found that in 81 percent of the men, there was a 12 percent decrease in the amount of damaged sperm.

Many fertility experts suggest men abstain from sex before their partners have in-vitro fertilization, to try to elevate their sperm counts.

Sperm quality can also be improved if men don't smoke, drink moderately, exercise, or get more antioxidants.

Since concluding the study, Greening says he now instructs all couples seeking fertility advice to start by having more sex. "Some of the older men look a little concerned," he said. "But the younger ones seem quite happy about it."

Experts think sex helps reduce the DNA damage in sperm by getting it out of the body quickly; if sperm is in the body for too long, it has a higher chance of getting damaged.

Some experts said that while Greening's research is promising, it doesn't prove that daily sex for men with fertility problems will actually produce more babies.

Greening said he and his colleagues are still analyzing the study data to determine how many women got pregnant.

"Looking at sperm DNA is just one part of the puzzle," said Bill Ledger, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Sheffield, who was not connected to the research. "Maybe this will improve pregnancy rates, but we still need to do more studies."

Ledger said instructing couples with infertility problems to have more sex could stress their relationship. "This may add even more anxiety and do more harm than good," he said. He said couples shouldn't feel pressured to adjust their sex lives just for the sake of having a baby.

Greening said the study's findings were ultimately very intuitive. "If you want to have a baby, our advice is to do it often." ( abcnews.go.com )

READ MORE - More Sex May Help Damaged Sperm